2020

No matter what has happened or not happened this year, how busy or how bored I've been, how happy or how sad, I have found time each day to pause, focus, reflect, search, embrace, or at least desire to embrace something or someone. That, in and of itself, is powerful. Transformative. A reminder that we make time for what is important. That there is always time. Time for a moment, a word, a vision, a breath, a smile that can turn an entire day--an entire year--on its head. And it all began with one word . A focus for the year. Declaring who  I wanted to be and how I wanted to live 2013. With arms wide open. Confronting fears head on. Receiving opportunities and unexpected gifts, ordinary days and extraordinary moments. Inviting the world into my heart and extending that invitation to you, in case seeing the world through my eyes might enlarge your vision as well. Because none of us journey alone. We are called to be encouragers, to love one another, to build one another u...

Sometimes Saturdays are about sleeping in, watching cartoons, and not having to go to school. Other times they are about running errands and cleaning house and having a big breakfast of pancakes or french toast. According to Tessa the best thing about Saturdays is that "Daddy doesn't go to work", which means he is home all day to play. I have never heard anyone say "I hate Saturdays". We all love these times of breaking routine and slowing down and being together. But I don't think we have to limit those things to Saturdays. Just like we don't have to limit Christmas to one day. Christmas too is about family and togetherness and love and celebration. Even if Mondays aren't like Saturdays and Wednesdays aren't like Christmas we can still find moments of togetherness and breaking routine and slowing down to appreciate what is important no matter what the calendar says. EMBRACE SATURDAYS . And Saturday-like moments. Each and every day. ...

In a world of thinkers and feelers, I am 100 percent thinker. I haven't the faintest clue what to do with my emotions. In fact I will do most anything to avoid them. Pierce my nose, live in my car, get a tattoo, jump out of an airplane. And those are just the things I've already tried! I love hanging out with emotional people though. Observing them. Trying to rationalize their behavior. Copying their posture and facial expressions to determine what is happening in their bodies. Because when I'm happy I get a knot in my neck. And when I'm sad I get a knot in my shoulder. When I'm angry the tension settles in my lower back. And joy feels a lot like a charlie horse. I don't know for sure, but I would guess that people who are more connected to their emotions don't feel pained by every new feeling. But the world needs both. Thinkers and feelers. And if we are willing to learn from one another, to grow and not be so afraid of the other, we can be more ba...

I absolutely love the holidays. The busy-ness. The togetherness. The loudness. The celebration and shiny things and too much food. And afterwards I absolutely need a day (or 3) of quiet. To reflect. Recharge. And relish all of the gifts that togetherness and busy-ness and loudness brings. So I for one am going to take today to be quiet. To sit and stare. To read and walk. To drive without the radio on. To be alone with my thoughts, remembering my favorite holiday moments and looking forward to the journey to come. EMBRACE QUIET . What about you? Do you relish the post-holiday quiet? Or are you just the opposite, longing once again for noise and toys and holidays to come?

Of all the gifts I gave my nephew for Christmas, these Buzz Lightyear pajamas were definitely his favorite. Above legos and Skylanders and far above the nice shirts I got him. No sooner had he tore into the wrapping than he disappeared down the hall and re-emerged as a superhero. The girls were equally excited about their nightgowns. And I think they were trying to get cousin Riley excited too in the picture above. My family never had the tradition of getting new Christmas pajamas on Christmas Eve like it seems so many do. But this year, seeing the kids' excitement inspired me to go home and put on my own Christmas jammies and spend most of Christmas day in them. And I really couldn't imagine a more perfect day. Curled up in flannel, with coffee and movies and leftovers, surrounded by the people (and dog) I love. I think I might have just adopted a new Christmas tradition! EMBRACE PAJAMAS . Are pjs one of your Christmas traditions?

Christmas is filled with magic. It is parents thinking creatively like kids again, participating in the wonder of the season by bringing to life an Elf on a Shelf. It is imagining the possibility of the impossible, where one man could be filled with enough love that, for one magical night, he could bring joy to every child on earth. It is the birth of a Savior, born "without incident", quietly, humbly, with the ability to change the world.   The magic of Christmas is not bought or found in a box wrapped in shiny paper. The magic is found in the snowflakes that hit your windshield on Christmas Eve at 3 in the morning. It is in the handwritten note that your dad put under the tree for you, telling you that he is proud and you are loved. It is in nieces and cousins dancing and singing, "Deck the Halls with lots of holly, Fa la ha ha ha!" It is in spontaneous hugs and mason jars and everyone being home for Christmas. The real magic of Christmas is found in momen...

Kenzi and I were texting a friend of mine on Sunday evening, which sparked a rather interesting conversation. Kenzi : Are you texting Daddy? Me : No. That's not Daddy. That is my friend. Kenzi : Is he going to marry you? Me : Not today. Kenzi : Is he at your house? Me : No. He is at his house. Kenzi : Why? Me : Because his kids are there. Kenzi : And their Mommy? Me : No. She doesn't live there any more. She has a different house. Kenzi : Why? Me : Because sometimes mommies and daddies have different houses. Kenzi : Because they don't love each other any more? Me : That's right. But your Mommy and Daddy will always love each other. Kenzi : Why did you switch houses? Me : So I could live closer to you. Kenzi : I wish you lived in the backyard. Then we could have pajama parties whenever we wanted. I didn't tell Kenzi the whole truth. Where I moved was to be closer to her. But why I moved was because I got divorced. (Though not b...

Yesterday my sermon was about the importance of names. Matthew 1 begins with a list of names, the genealogy of Jesus. Mark 1 begins with baptism, when our name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. Luke 1 begins with an angel telling Zechariah he would have a son, to be named John. And John 1 says "In the beginning...", reminding us of Genesis when God called things into creation, named them, and gave Adam his first assignment--to name all the animals. And because we are celebrating Jesus' birthday this week, we talked about His all important name. Jesus, which means "God saves." And Immanuel, "God is with us." Not "for" us. But "with" us. Dwelling among us. Walking the earth. Filling our hearts. I also shared that Katie means "pure". A name I've always been intimidated by. A name I never thought I could live up to. But through this year of self-exploration, of embracing fears and family and lessons ...

When I got in the pool yesterday my arms felt like they weighed 50 pounds. And I'd just climbed a mountain on the treadmill so my legs weren't any better. Some days are like that. You just aren't at your best. And you have the choice to dig deep and push through it, or get out of the water. Already in the pool were a dozen or so senior citizens. Jogging in their water shoes and one piece suits while lifting weights and sitting on noodles. So I, in my jogging shorts because I don't feel comfortable in swimsuit bottoms, sucked it up and swam some laps. Changing it up every lap or two to try and trick my body into thinking it wasn't as sluggish as it felt. Freestyle, backstroke, sidestroke, breaststroke. All because a pool full of grandmas had been jogging in their swimsuit bottoms for at least 30 minutes before I'd even gotten in the pool. After I had swam for a good 20 minutes or so and they were still noodling, I decided I could justify getting out of th...

I was walking home from my parents house yesterday and had one of those rare moments when I just stopped and thought, "Everything is perfect." My younger brother and his family had just arrived from Texas. My older brother and his family would join us later that day. I was starting a new project for work. I get to deliver God's message this week. My niece is getting baptized on Sunday. We will all be together for Christmas. Friendships have been renewed, and my heart is wide open to the limitless possibilities of 2014. I am happy! And not in a "this is too perfect and it is all about to come crashing down" kind of way. But in an "I'm going to embrace this moment, this feeling, this utter happiness for as many breaths as it is mine" kind of way. Because I'd rather appreciate--really appreciate--all that I have to be thankful for, than spend even one minute worrying about any of it getting taken away. EMBRACE HAPPINESS . If and when tha...

I tend to look at December--and winter in general--through the lens of "endings". A fallow period. Where things die, not grow. The end of a year and lots of other things. But Christmas is all about new life. New beginnings. The birth of a child. The beginning of an era. It may be the end of some things. But it's not the end of all things. I can choose to look at winter through a different lens. A lens of wholeness. One that sees that death leads to life. That endings lead to new beginnings. New opportunities. That out of the darkness comes birth and growth and life and light. Winter is and can be one of unlimited potential and availability. One of promise. I don't have to wait until Spring to  EMBRACE NEW BEGINNINGS . I can--I will--choose life today.

My favorite thing about relationships is that they are all so different. I have some friends who I hang out with and I do all the listening. With others I do all the talking. And some are more balanced. Yet I love all of these relationships. I have friends who I can go 15 years without seeing and yet we can pick up right where we left off. Some friends I make a point to see at least once a month, whereas others we are good to see each other once a year. Some I met at church, others at school or work, an Al-Anon meeting or the grocery store. Where and how we met isn't what validates these relationships, however, and the frequency with which we see each other isn't based on how much I love these people. I love them all. My mom and I can sit and talk for hours. My dad and I can work side-by-side for hours. My brothers and I can play for hours. My dog and I can walk for hours. Alone I can read and write for hours. That's right. You can have a relationship with family an...

5 of my last 6 meals have been breakfast. It is always a good time for breakfast. 5 a.m. or 5 p.m. 11 a.m. or 11 p.m. 3 in the afternoon. In my kitchen or yours or the Country Kitchen up the road. There's never a bad time for bacon, eggs, kale, biscuits, gravy... (And yes, I count kale as breakfast food!) EMBRACE BREAKFAST . How many breakfasts will you have today?

In 2002, my first job out of college landed me inside a cubicle. After a month I was so claustrophobic I quit and moved to California where I lived in a cabin at the base of a mountain, surrounded by trees and hiking trails and a river fed by snowmelt. I loved everything about the California outdoors. The dramatic scenery--mountains, deserts, oceans, Joshua trees and Giant Sequoias. The wildlife--especially the bears that tumbled down mountains and across the road where you were driving. The fresh air--both mountain air and salty ocean breezes. But this past year I've learned that the outdoors can be spectacular even without bears and glaciers and saltwater. Without canyons or geysers or caves. After working in an office--even though it was a really nice office with lots of windows--from 2006-12 and never having time to enjoy the day from the outside, I'm simply happy to be outdoors again. Working from home where I give myself at least 2 hours a day to be outside. I hav...

Recently Kenzi learned how to draw hearts. She's very excited about this new accomplishment and regularly tucks her drawings into my coat pockets. Which means I randomly come across these "love notes" when I'm looking for my grocery list, my car keys, and my gloves. And they always make me smile. I couldn't tell you the last time I put my heart on paper. But it was a huge part of my adolescence. Writing and receiving words of affection in pencil or in pen. Paper folder fancy ways. Secretly passing my love to a girlfriend to pass to her boyfriend to pass on to mine. And while I do adore a "Good morning beautiful" text, a comment on my Facebook page, or even an email filled with kindness, I absolutely treasure these hearts on paper, tucked quietly in my pockets, waiting to surprise me with a reminder that I am loved.   EMBRACE LOVE NOTES . When was the last time you wrote a love note? Or received one? Why not today! Even a few words on a ...

Tessa : "Do you know whose name starts with d?" Me : "Daddy." Tessa , bursting into tears at the mere mention of his name: "Is Daddy ever coming home?" This was Monday night, and Tim had just tucked her into bed the night before. Me : "He'll be home Thursday." Tessa : "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. But that's a long time!" Me : "Do you need Daddy's pillow to sleep with?" Tessa : Head nodding, still talking even though I'm leaving the room to get Daddy's pillow, "Will Daddy be here for family dinner night?" Me : Returning with the pillow, "Of course. Daddy wouldn't miss family dinner night." Fast forward until Tuesday night. Tim calls to talk to the kids before they go to bed. I let Tessa answer the phone and her lip starts to quiver as soon as she hears his voice. Fighting back tears she says to Daddy: "Aunt Katie gave me your pillow and Mommy gave me your wo...

It makes me a little sad that our "30 Days of Thankfulness" (aka November) is over. So I've decided to do something similar leading up to Christmas. It's called " These are a Few of My Favorite Things... " and I'll come up with at least one thing each day through Christmas. Today my favorite things are: My living room. It took me all year to get around to painting it, but now that the walls are done I feel like I just want to settle there, in my home, with my coffee and kindle and Jovi.  The view out my bedroom window. In Indiana my bedroom window faced my neighbor's bedroom window and there was only about 15 feet between us. I'd say snowy trees and no neighbors in sight is a much better view to wake up to!  Waterproof boots. The snow is way too beautiful not to walk in each and every day. But it is so much more beautiful when you can come in with dry socks! Thank you Lowa for making my winter more enjoyable!  EMBRACE FAVORITE THIN...

My aunt and uncle send the best Christmas letters. The "old fashioned" kind where they actually type up an entire letter to give you a sense of their year. Where they found joy. And struggle. What they did to make the world a little brighter. And a page full of photos that capture memorable family moments. It brings me joy every year to receive this letter, and it isn't lessened at all by the fact that we are Facebook friends and I know most of this stuff anyway. If I were to write a Christmas letter it might say... I have felt more peace this year after returning to the family farm in Ohio and setting up home than I have in a long time. And my heart has begun to heal from all the chapters that were closed when I left Indiana last December. "I" decided to EMBRACE all things in 2013, which led to an almost daily blog, which led to new friendships and experiences I would never have had otherwise. I competed in two triathlons and didn't die. I began pre...

I stopped my car in the middle of the street Saturday afternoon to roll down my window and snap this photo of the sledding hill in Wilmington, Ohio. It was loud with laughter and screams as kids, friends, siblings, and parents enjoyed the newly fallen snow. Some of my favorite memories growing up are of the snow. Getting snowed in at Christmas in Iowa, Ohio, and even Texas. Sledding, skating, and snowball fights. Snowmen and snow caves. School delays and cancellations. Getting pulled on a sled behind a 4-wheeler and a tractor. Frostbite on our wrists and ankles and bellies. Then, as an adult, moving to the mountains in California where they talked about an impending snowfall in terms of how many feet we would get, not inches. I learned to put chains on my tires because you don't stay home when it snows in the mountains. I wore snowshoes so as not to post-hole while hiking Big Trees . And we lined our driveways with Christmas lights so we could find our way home or to a pa...

I am a terrible housekeeper. I never remember to dust and I haven't seen my kitchen table in months. Yes I do eat at said table. And if you want to join me you are welcome to put your plate on a book or magazine of your choice. I have zero willpower. Every 3 months for 10 days I do a "cleanse" and only eat lean meat, fruits, and vegetables. I am yet to make it to day 5 without cheating. I am very wasteful. I waste everything. Everything. I had never heard of Saint Nicholas Day until yesterday (even though Wikipedia says it is popular in Cincinnati). And it sounds really scary. Kids getting butchered (on a similar note, did you hear they are going to make a movie out of the books Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark ?). Demons kidnapping naughty children. Giving presents to unmarried women who "need" to find a husband. (Maybe it's not such a shortcoming to have neglected to put my shoes outside Thursday night.) Typically when we talk about shortcomings ...

Nearly every day I spend with my nieces and nephew someone ends up with a band-aid. And every time I've taken them shopping we end up with multiple boxes in our cart. (If you need Christmas ideas, it's the perfect stocking stuffer!) Band-aids cover minor hurts. With this crew it is usually a hangnail. Or a playground scrape. And often times a "dot" invisible to the adult eye but definitely there in the eyes of a 4-year-old and definitely in need of a band-aid. And as this photo of Kaylee professes, a simple band-aid makes everything better. Thumbs and smiles and the ability to go back to the horseplay that likely caused the infraction to begin with. The Bible  says "love covers a multitude of sins". As simply as a band-aid can cover our hurts and wipe our tears away , so can the choice to love above all else. Kids can be overly dramatic about their need for a band-aid and the severity of the injury that requires such. But we adults can be equally dra...

Last night at dinner my nieces "got the giggles". For no apparent (at least not to me) reason. About 10 minutes into the giggling I grabbed my phone to record their smiles. Sweet innocence. Pure joy. Not deep belly laughs. Just a calm happiness at being alive. And being together. Isn't that reason enough to smile? EMBRACE THE GIGGLES .

Walking in the dense morning fog yesterday reminded me that we can't always see where we are going. We don't always know where things will end up--jobs, relationships, projects, travel, challenges, blessings... I certainly didn't anticipate enjoying having a " word of the year " so much. I could never have imagined all the opportunities I've had to embrace life and living this year. But I did it. Day by day. Step by step. And just like walking in the fog, the joy and love and opportunities have unfolded little by little right before my eyes. And now we are in our final weeks of 2013. With no idea what is to come in 2014. And that's okay. Because we'll figure it out. Step by step. Day by day. So long as we keep moving forward. Head-on into the unknown. EMBRACE FOG . We are all on this journey, with endless opportunities to walk blindly into new adventures and deeper into current ones.

On Sunday evening the girls were showing me their newly decorated Christmas tree, pulling ornaments off one at a time to show me their favorites. Gingerbread people. Candy canes. Reindeer. Wreaths. "And this one is a pirate ship," Tysen said, cupping her hands around an elaborate ornament. "Actually that is Noah's Ark," I said. (Easy mistake.) My sister-in-law then told me about her conversation with my nephew in which she told him the reason we celebrate Christmas is because it is Jesus' birthday. "Why didn't anyone tell me?!!" he exclaimed. By now you know how much I love being around these kids. To hear their stories and songs. To be challenged by their questions and imaginations. To see them connect with the world. To experience wonder afresh alongside them. And I'm excited to see them experience more of Christmas this year, more of the reason for the season. The Christmas season is all about anticipating and receiving the...

I know most people hate first dates. But I absolutely love them! Fretting over the perfect outfit. Anxiety about where to go and what to do. Hoping you won't say anything stupid or trip over a crack in the sidewalk or get food stuck in your teeth. Flowers. Opening doors. Holding hands. Exchanging smiles. Pretending to like each other's music. And sense of humor. And shoes. At least for the first hour. Until you realize you have to be honest or else you might be stuck with those shoes and jokes and bands for the rest of your life. And the night only gets better once you are honest. Or worse. But either way it's an adventure. Memories in the making. Every date should be like this, no matter how long you've been together. Nerve wracking and exciting. Eager to learn about your partner and to share your heart. Seeking common ground and growth opportunities. Learning to be flexible and to set boundaries. Appreciating one another with smiles and car doors and time. A...

Last week Kenzi told me she was going to grow up to be an artist, Tessa was going to ride horses, Tysen would be a ballerina, and Kaylee a mom. This week Kenzi was considering being a writer or in the "mooovies". I asked Kaylee what she thought. "I want to fly airplanes," she said, matter of fact. Kenzi started to cry. "I want to fly airplanes, too," she said. "It takes two people to fly an airplane," I assured her. "You can both fly the plane." "I want to be a doctor," Tessa said. "That's a great thing to want to be," I told her. "I want to do hair, too," Kaylee said, not wanting to limit herself to being a pilot. "And paint nails." "That would come in handy in this house," I said. Tysen then sat on my lap and said, "I want to be married. I am thankful for you and the person who married you... Who married you?" (Doesn't she just melt your heart!) ...

I've thoroughly enjoyed this month of gratitude ! Thinking about who and what I am thankful for, as well as hearing what others are thankful for, has filled my heart with joy! These are just a few that have stood out for me that I or my friends have been thankful for: Letters in the mail. Growing up in church. Memories. Challenges. The things I have this year that I didn't last year. That hour after the kids go to bed when I can breathe deep, drink wine, and listen to them snore. Having a job. Having "too much" so I can give generously to others. Kids who love to read. Snow. A house to clean and clothes to wash. Health. Encouragement from friends when I'm sick. Laughter. Gathering around the table with family. Locks on the bathroom door. Haircuts. Safety in travel. That person in my life who I talk to every single day. My 7-year-old nephew would add: meat, toys, ordering lunch a la carte, beating Aunt Katie at board games, Skylanders, and a cornucopia. After ...

Last year I didn't put up a single decoration for Christmas. This year I thought I might continue the trend. It's just me, after all. I would have to fill my own stocking and eat all the cookies in the jar. (Have you ever seen one lonely stocking hanging above the fireplace?) I would know what was inside every gift under the tree, no surprises. (Where is the magic in that?) There's really no point, is there? And then the snow started to fall. In big, wet flakes. I put on my snow pants and caught flakes on my tongue and made angels with my limbs. And when I was cold and wet I came in, put a little Baileys in my coffee, pushed play on my favorite Christmas album , and lit a maple butter scented candle. Maybe just the nativity , I thought. And as I was unpacking Joseph, Mary holding the baby Jesus, and the little shepherd, I remembered that this is what Christmas is all about. This visual reminder that what is important is not how many stockings are hung by ...

I delivered a really great gratitude sermon on Sunday. It was full of energy and enthusiasm, challenge and grace, laughter and a few tears. It included the kids as well as the adults, Scripture and loads of personal stories. And yet... Confession time... I, personally, don't believe women should be pastors. Let me say first of all that this is not the fault of the church or the way I was raised. I have never sat through a sermon (nor would I deliver one) that said as a woman I should sit there and be quiet (which isn't what I am proposing, by the way). My dad never told me this, nor did my grandfather. We even had a female pastor when I was a kid and everyone loved her, including (maybe especially) me. It is simply a personal conviction I have, based on my own reading of Scripture and time with the Lord in prayer and waiting. I believe men are to be the spiritual head of our churches and households, to guide and protect and nurture the flock. (And find it eternally fr...

Tessa and I were reading about Snow White last week. There was a picture of all the dwarfs together and she asked me which one was which. I went through and made educated guesses based on their facial expressions. "That one got up too early," she said about Sleepy. I was intrigued by this observation. I never thought about the fact that maybe Sleepy wouldn't be sleepy if he had gotten a better night's sleep. Next she pointed at Sneezy. "He needs allergy medicine." Poor Sneezy. Imagine how much better his life would be if he could get Claritin clear. "What's wrong with Grumpy?" I asked. "Maybe no one gave him a valentine," she said with complete sincerity. I didn't tell her that Valentine's Day was a long time ago and he should be over it by now. But she is probably more on target than me anyway. Most of us hold on to our hurts for a long time. "Dopey isn't very smart," I said. "Snow White cou...

While I was doing laps yesterday a woman swam over to me. "Are you the one who is going to walk across Spain ?" she asked. I laughed. And concurred. Which led to a wonderful conversation about seizing the moments, dreams, and passions given to us. Saying "yes" to life. Saying "yes" NOW. After I went back to my laps it occurred to me that I have only been going to the gym for two and a half weeks and already I've developed a reputation. Not that that should be surprising. Like it or not we are a people who love to talk. (Especially about the new girl.) To tell stories and find out each other's stories. And more often than not we find out those stories from secondary sources in the locker room, over coffee, at the mill or the hairdresser, the bar or church parking lot. I can't make people stop talking. Or stop listening. But I can try to live my life so that what they say--the reputation I inspire--is a positive one. One I'm happy ...

Last week I invited you to help me EMBRACE MORE by sharing your suggestions of what you think I should embrace. (I am loving hearing from you, so keep them coming!) Amy--beautiful wife, mother, woman, and friend--shared with me what she embraces daily: small victories . These small victories range from laundry to nighttime snuggles to schoolwork accomplishments to overcoming obstacles and beating the odds. She had reasons why each of these count as victories, but really they all boil down to the same thing: attitude. Amy chooses to celebrate these moments. To focus on what she does have, not what she doesn't. To find the positive in every circumstance. To not sit around and wait for a "big victory" to be grateful, but to find gratitude in every small one: every step, every laugh, every breath.   Having a grateful attitude toward small victories is the best way I can think of to embrace more, enjoy more, have more. After all, most of life is made up of small moment...

On the way home from school yesterday my nieces were discussing Christmas lists. "Make sure you make a girl list and not a boy list," Kenzi said. "But I like boy lists," Tessa said. "What is on a boy list?" I asked. "Guns!" They shouted in unison. Then one by one they shared: "Christmas trees." (Never considered that before.) "Monster movies." "Knights in armor to protect you." "I could protect you," I offered. Tysen asked, "Would you kick the bad guys in the knees?" "If they were really bad," I said. "Or I might just ask them to go away." "That won't work," they all agreed. Then Kaylee asked, "Can you throw fire from your hands?" Followed by: "Dragons breathe fire. Dragons are on boy lists." "So what is on a girl's list?" I asked. "Cars." (Sorry fellas!) "Barbies." "Ladybug pill...

One of my very first blog posts this year was EMBRACE ENDINGS . I was clearly hoping for some closure in 2013. To move on. Forward. To let go. With finality. I have to admit that 10 months later I am no closer to being good at letting go than I was in January. In fact, I forgot--or at least lost focus on--my longing for endings until I read a passage this week from Stasi Eldredge's " Becoming Myself ": I was at a Graham Cooke conference a number of years ago when he taught about how our friendships change and how normal that is. He said most friendships last three to five years. Really? And, he said, they are meant to have a duration of three to five years. Not every friend in our lives is meant to walk with us through the remainder of our lives. Oh, we love them still. And though all change feels like loss, it is good to bless people on their way, to hold them loosely, and to let them go. Wow! No wonder some of my relationships frustrate me. No wonder I feel like I...

After spending every day for two weeks with my nieces and nephew I felt confident in delivering a sermon on Sunday about how parenting is a lot like preaching. These are the main points: In both parenting and preaching... I have no idea what I am doing 90 percent of the time.  I learn more than I could ever teach. I have to pray constantly that I won't completely screw up, and hope that others will have mercy when I inevitably do.  It isn't my job to always do everything for the kids or the congregation, but to encourage them to be and do and wrestle and grow and learn independent of me. I don't have all the answers. Not even close. Not even a little bit. (And that's okay.)  At a glance you might think this list proves I shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a pulpit, let alone a McDonald's Playland. But here's the thing... Despite not knowing what I am doing (that we are clear on!), what I do know is this: (1) I am called to be a spiritual momma to a...

I didn't expect Patricia to show up at church yesterday. She was a visitor. In need of prayer. I had even planned on saying during my sermon that church isn't the way it is portrayed on television, with people randomly dropping in to pray. But yesterday church was exactly like that. And we had the opportunity to be the church, to pray over her, to encourage her, to thank her for reminding us of our purpose. To invite her and her family to lunch. I didn't expect my Internet to not work last night and this morning. To not be able to post this blog according to MY schedule. But it allowed me to go to bed earlier last night and to get to the gym earlier this morning.  After my trip to the gym, I didn't expect the electricity to go out in Wal-Mart, or to be ushered out when it did (because the registers automatically shut off 20 minutes after a power outage). But I already had everything I needed in my cart, so anything that would have been added after that would hav...

Be it flying solo for frozen pizza and DVDs after a long week, dinner out and movies in with friends, or date night at your favorite restaurant and theater... EMBRACE DINNER AND A MOVIE. It may be cliché, but that doesn't mean it isn't the perfect way to spend a Friday night.

On the way back from the funeral home yesterday the kids were all trying to make sense of heaven. In particular they were trying to figure out how it was possible for their great-grandpa to "see" us wherever we are. "I don't believe that," my nephew said finally. "Believe what?" I asked. "That he can see us." "What do you believe?" I encouraged. "I think he is just dead," he said. One of his sisters then asked again how their great-grandpa could see us no matter where we are: school, home, grandma and grandpa's house... "It's like Santa," my nephew explained to his sisters. They all got quiet. And I realized he understood the concept, even if he wasn't sure he bought it. Which I think is perfectly healthy. Even good. Really good actually. We don't have to believe everything everyone tells us. And we probably shouldn't. It is okay to doubt. We can go through the process of fig...

My nephew and nieces' great-grandfather passed away on Saturday. This is the second great-grandfather who has passed in their lifetime, but the first that they are old enough to be aware of. The kids know that Buck was in the hospital, that he was sick and didn't get better, that his heart stopped working, and that he didn't wake up. Beyond that my brother and sister-in-law have given the kids space to ask questions and process in their own way, which I think is perfect. I've spent a lot of time with the kids in the past two weeks, to help out while the family spent Buck's last days together and have made arrangements for the funeral, so I've been able to witness some of this processing. Tessa: "Buck isn't going to wake up... not even on Christmas?" Kaylee: "Where does Aunt Jenn live?" (Me: "Texas.") "Buck is in Texas. At the doctor." (Presumably she thinks of him as "far away" and you can't get ...

Yesterday I embraced  everybody . Back in May I embraced everything . And I truly have tried to be open to anything and anyone who enters my path this year. But how do you follow everything and everyone? What comes next? My cousin reminded me that the year is quickly coming to an end. And if, in fact, "embrace" is my word of the year , I'll soon have to look for a new word to embrace in 2014. But the year is not over yet! We still have time to EMBRACE MORE ! And so, here is my request. Will you help me make the next 7 weeks the best yet? Intentional, open, big, and bold! Will you suggest "more" for me?  Will you write in the comments below (anonymous comments are accepted if you prefer!) what you would like to see me embrace... what I haven't embraced yet... what I need to embrace again... what you have been embracing... what you wish you could embrace... whatever is on your heart. Any and all suggestions are welcome. None are too crazy, too silly,...

While eating dessert last night I asked Kaylee what she was thankful for "today". She thought for a moment while eating the icing out of her pumpkin roll, then said enthusiastically, "Everything! And everybody! In the whole world!" I told her that was the best possible thing I could think of to be thankful for. Everybody. Not just girls. Not just people in pink dresses (there was a lot of that happening last night). Not just people who look like me, or think like me, or act like me, or believe what I believe. But everyone. In the whole wide world. People I have met, and people I haven't yet. People I like instantly, and people it takes some work to find affection for. People I agree with, and people I don't. People I see everyday, people I would like to see more often, and people who have since passed from this earth. Everyone. In the whole world. I hope I can be thankful for that too. Not just in theory, but also in action. EMBRACE EVERYBO...

Tis the season for charitable giving appeals to fill our mailboxes and inboxes and "missed" calls. From colleges to churches, missions to cures... I actually find it quite easy to sort these appeals into 3 categories:  trash (I can't give to everyone),  the 'I'd like to give and maybe I will' pile (there are way too many in this pile), and  I'm headed to my computer right now to donate (there are a select few who make the list year after year). One letter came this week from an organization that I love with the fullness of my heart: A Christian Ministry in the National Parks (ACMNP) . I served with ACMNP at the Grand Canyon where I had the easiest, funnest summer-with-Jesus of my life. And I served with ACMNP at Yellowstone where I had the hardest, deepest, most life-changing, catapult me into wholeness summer of my life. Both experiences were instrumental to the life of ministry I have today and I wouldn't change a minute of either one. ...