2020

I was very much looking forward to our trip to Wyoming. Between my junior and senior years in college I spent the summer at Yellowstone National Park in the northwest corner of the state. It was by far the most foundational summer of my life. My parents probably thought I'd "gone prodigal" (to steal a phrase from Greg Laurie) because I wasn't much interested in hearing from home. But it was the first time I'd ever been immersed in a culture so different from the one I had grown up in. And I couldn't get enough of it. When you are surrounded by people who have always been where you have been and have grown up the way you have grown up, no one thinks to ask who you are. They assume they know. They assume you are just like them. And you can start to assume you are too. But these people I spent the summer with were people from every state and multiple countries and a variety of backgrounds and they all wanted to know: who are you? what do you like? ...

On Easter Sunday, Randy and I said our goodbyes to the kids and staff at Sonshine Hacienda. We went to the early morning church service (in English), and then said our goodbyes to the kids before they left for the later Spanish service. A couple of the girls were crying, but nothing serious. And then I hugged my 9-year-old boy, who for the past 6 months has been asking if we will adopt him. As he snuggled into my arms for what could be the last time, he broke down into full-blown sobs. It absolutely wrecked me. There was nothing I could do but say “Te amo mijo”, I love you my son, and put him on the bus with 24 other kids we may or may not see again.  Our plan was to leave while the kids were at church. But nothing really went according to plan that day. They got out of church early, and packing and cleaning was taking us longer than we’d planned, so when they ran into the hacienda a few hours later we were still there. We sat down and had lunch with them and thankfu...

I've been thinking about "40" for the last several months. I turned 38 this week, which is just a stone's throw from 40, and I find myself super excited about it. Crazy, right?! But I'm so excited about spending the next two years becoming the kind of person I want to be on my 40th birthday. With that number 40 on my mind, it flows naturally into thoughts on Lent. The season of Lent -- the 40+ days leading up to Easter -- has made a HUGE impact on my life. In 2013, for the first time ever really participating in this part of the liturgical calendar, I felt God nudging me to read the ENTIRE Bible in 40 days. I didn't quite make it, needing another month or so to finish my reading (let's face it: Numbers and Chronicles are HARD to get through!), but I didn't give up. I remained faithful to the finish. And met God along the way. In 2014, God again called me to something grand: walking across Spain . Again, I didn't quite make it in 40 days,...

My word of the year presented itself sometime in November. My first thought was, "Ew." It was NOT the word I was hoping for. But none of them -- embrace, walk with, serve, share -- have turned out like I expected. So maybe this one, too, would be okay. But really  -- FIERCE --  are you sure God, that you are speaking to ME? Fierce makes me think of desperate older women chasing younger men. Fierce makes me think of fake cat noises. Fierce makes this pacifist think of war paint and javelins. Fierce sounds like energy and intensity and a strength that I just don't have. Fierce makes me tired. So I suppose, once again, that God wants to challenge me to embrace this word as coming from him and his vision for who I could be, or perhaps underneath it all who I already am. And what would be so wrong with ending 2018 stronger, more passionate, wilder and bolder and empowered? As someone who STANDS for something. As I've looked into "fierce...

This summer 11 kids have left Sonshine Hacienda. Three new kids joined us. And another one came and left again within a matter of 24 hours. It has been emotionally exhausting. Randy was particularly close to 3-year-old Pamela who left. And I to 12-year-old Brayan. Pamela started and ended each day running into Randy’s arms, batting her eyes for an extra helping of food, throwing her head back when she laughed. She left a huge hole in our family. Brayan and I would talk about whatever was on his mind each evening as we cleaned the dining room. Sometimes that was him wondering what high school would be like in a few years, or whether or not his brother and aunt would come to visit him this weekend, or if he could be involved in sports or other activities outside the casa. He would tell me about the other children’s homes where he had lived, ones that also had American missionaries, ones that allowed video games (we do not), ones that also had trampolines like ours. ...

Yesterday, Randy and I should have been in California celebrating our grandson's 3rd birthday. But 3 years ago we received that unthinkable phone call. Randy's daughter had gone to the hospital to deliver, a week past her due date, only to discover that C.J. no longer had a heartbeat. Somewhere in Baja, on that very same day, a woman went into labor. She would give birth to a healthy baby boy. C.E. would soon be taken to the children's home where his older sister lived, and later a younger sister would join them. Yesterday, a mama goat and her adopted baby came to live with us. I told C.E. that I had a regalo (present) for his birthday. "Is it Mama A?" he asked, inquiring after his biological mother. With so many kids leaving us over the past week, all the other kids are wondering when it will be their turn. "No, it's not Mama A," I said. "It's Mama Chiva (goat)." "Mama Chee-va," he said, because 3-year-olds repea...

One of the most important lessons we are learning in preparing for our move to Baja is to go with the flow. The culture there is so "easy." No one gets worked up about anything. Everything will come together in time. A way will be made. We've come to call it the "Baja Stop." People in Baja don't really stop at stop signs, they roll through them. So when you just roll through something... Baja Stop! It's fairly easy for us to meld into that lifestyle while we are in San Felipe. But as soon as we returned to the States, our minds suddenly looked like freeway traffic (going 80 mph only to have to slam on your breaks, swerve around the person who cut you off, and hit the gas again because it really does feel safer to go fast). It's completely exhausting. But we have a huge list of things to accomplish before our move in November, and that isn't much time. So we feel a bit forced into this crazy pace. Our main priority when we returned f...

Randy and I took our weekly hike yesterday. Nothing too strenuous. Just a 4-mile hike with the promise of a 40-foot waterfall at the end. Who doesn't love a good waterfall! The thing you probably already know about California is that it doesn't rain here. Not since early April anyway. So, while I was expecting Niagara Falls... what I actually got was Dripping Springs.   This entire rock wall should have been flooded with water, but instead it was occupied by slippery moss and a few remaining puddles. And lots of mosquitoes. Isn't that the way life is? You expect one thing, but reality ends up being something completely different. I doubt that many of us have the life we imagined... the relationships, the careers, the white picket fences. I doubt any of us have spouses who always meet our needs exactly how we expect them to. I doubt we have many -- if any! -- days that go exactly according to plan. And I don't know anyone with 2.5 children. Some...

Have you ever left church and thought, "Wow! That was exactly the sermon I needed to hear!"? That was me on Sunday. The sermon was about Abigail , a woman in the Bible who responded calmly to a crisis when everyone else was overreacting. Our pastor, Andrew , is from Ireland, so he frequently introduces us to new cultural references in his sermons to illustrate his point. This week he referred to an insurance company from the UK whose slogan in the 80's was: "We won't make a drama out of a crisis." This is one of their commercials: We experience crises on a regular basis. Today you may be having a small crisis -- an unexpected change of plans, for example -- or you may be having a bigger crisis, like the one in the video. But whether it is big or small, you get to decide how you will respond. Will you make a drama out of a crisis? Or will you, like Abigail, respond with wisdom and calm in the midst of your storm? One reason that Pastor ...