first dates

-
I know most people hate first dates. But I absolutely love them!

Fretting over the perfect outfit. Anxiety about where to go and what to do. Hoping you won't say anything stupid or trip over a crack in the sidewalk or get food stuck in your teeth.

Flowers. Opening doors. Holding hands. Exchanging smiles.

Pretending to like each other's music. And sense of humor. And shoes. At least for the first hour. Until you realize you have to be honest or else you might be stuck with those shoes and jokes and bands for the rest of your life.

And the night only gets better once you are honest. Or worse. But either way it's an adventure. Memories in the making.

Every date should be like this, no matter how long you've been together. Nerve wracking and exciting. Eager to learn about your partner and to share your heart. Seeking common ground and growth opportunities. Learning to be flexible and to set boundaries. Appreciating one another with smiles and car doors and time. And above all having fun together and making each other feel special.

There are certainly benefits to knowing and being known by your partner, but there are downsides as well.

My first husband and I got married 10 years after our first date, so I know how easy it is to let "comfortable" turn in to "ordinary". To get busy with family and work and home life. And precisely because we thought we'd outgrown first dates, neither of us had any fun or felt special or looked forward to learning new things about the other.

The second time around I dated my husband all through our marriage and it was the best 3 years of my life. Even the hard and heartbreaking days were better than most because they were sandwiched in the middle of attention and love and care.

So I definitely advocate EMBRACING FIRST DATES. Whether you've been married 10 years or you are tenderly putting yourself out there after a season of heartbreak. Because it truly is worth it to take a chance on a first date, over and over again.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

names

-
Image
Yesterday my sermon was about the importance of names. Matthew 1 begins with a list of names, the genealogy of Jesus. Mark 1 begins with baptism, when our name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. Luke 1 begins with an angel telling Zechariah he would have a son, to be named John. And John 1 says "In the beginning...", reminding us of Genesis when God called things into creation, named them, and gave Adam his first assignment--to name all the animals. And because we are celebrating Jesus' birthday this week, we talked about His all important name. Jesus, which means "God saves." And Immanuel, "God is with us." Not "for" us. But "with" us. Dwelling among us. Walking the earth. Filling our hearts. I also shared that Katie means "pure". A name I've always been intimidated by. A name I never thought I could live up to. But through this year of self-exploration, of embracing fears and family and lessons ...
Read more

No Purpose in Pie Town

-
Image
Life is always changing. Sometimes it feels like a long process, sometimes it happens in an instant, and other times it just sneaks right up on you. A year ago, Randy and I were in the middle of nowhere ( Pie Town, New Mexico ), 100 percent sure that it was our next move. His mom was told she only had 6 months to live , so our plan was to care for her in her final days. During our visit, I envisioned putting my office in the loft. And already anticipated being irritated by the television and phone calls and visitors below. Randy made up the plans to convert the garage into a master suite for us. We even picked out our flooring. I researched getting certified to teach at the local elementary school and Randy had scoped out the local diner where he planned to "sling hash." We were excited about the hiking and bouldering opportunities in the area and even bought special shoes. But as the months passed by, mom seemed to be as stubborn and healthy as ever. An...
Read more

shortcomings

-
Image
I am a terrible housekeeper. I never remember to dust and I haven't seen my kitchen table in months. Yes I do eat at said table. And if you want to join me you are welcome to put your plate on a book or magazine of your choice. I have zero willpower. Every 3 months for 10 days I do a "cleanse" and only eat lean meat, fruits, and vegetables. I am yet to make it to day 5 without cheating. I am very wasteful. I waste everything. Everything. I had never heard of Saint Nicholas Day until yesterday (even though Wikipedia says it is popular in Cincinnati). And it sounds really scary. Kids getting butchered (on a similar note, did you hear they are going to make a movie out of the books Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark ?). Demons kidnapping naughty children. Giving presents to unmarried women who "need" to find a husband. (Maybe it's not such a shortcoming to have neglected to put my shoes outside Thursday night.) Typically when we talk about shortcomings ...
Read more