2020

On Thursday, while I was avoiding reality for a day, Randy and I happened to turn on the television just in time to catch an episode of Life Today . Life Today is the television program for the organization Life Outreach International, which focuses on bringing water and food and shoes and other necessities to the world. While I can't usually bring myself to watch the last 15 minutes of the program, with the sad pictures of children with flies in their eyes and distended bellies, the first 15 minutes always include an interview with individuals whose lives have been turned upside down for Jesus. And who are using that upside-down momentum to make a difference in the world. The stories are incredibly inspiring. I ALWAYS love those first 15 minutes of the show. Thursday was no different. Thursday's episode included an interview with Cassie Hammett, founder of The Hub: Urban Ministries . On The Hub's website, Cassie writes: The call to love the poor is clear in scr...

Randy hadn't had a weekend off from catering since April. So when I noticed that he had a free weekend coming up in July, I immediately asked him what he wanted to do. We didn't have to make plans. We could have let the weekend just come up on us and filled our time with whatever we felt like... relaxing, cleaning, going to the movies, studying Spanish, or absolutely nothing. But if we wanted to be intentional about it, if we wanted to come away from the weekend feeling like we'd made the best use of our time off, it would require some forethought. A few days later Randy suggested we go backcountry camping. It wouldn't cost anything. We already had all the gear we needed. And we would be without cell service, so we would be forced to completely disengage from work and the world, whether we wanted to or not. It sounded perfect to me! So, on Thursday after our Spanish class, we stopped at REI and loaded up on dehydrated meals. We filled our backpacks with sleepin...

Randy and I have a nightly routine of watching Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. It's a routine that was born on the Camino, when we watched game shows in Spanish. Of course I don't think we ever got a puzzle right, but at least we recognized the letters! And it was a good way to unwind after a long day of walking. And while it was more of a "mindless" activity in Spain, watching it in English each night is very mindful, challenging us to sort through all those pockets of information in our brains that we can forget are even there. But last night's episode of Wheel of Fortune  had me thinking in a new way. Not because of the puzzles or Vanna White's leopard print dress or the cameo by her boyfriend. Instead, it happened during the interview period when the contestants were introducing themselves. During these introductions, the contestants typically talk about their families, their careers, and something interesting about themselves. Last night...

When I see this photo a million thoughts go through my head. They sound something like this: "I hope everyone looks at the baby, the water, the sand, and not at me. I'm glad this was taken in the midst of triathlon training so I don't look 'as fat' as I would normally. I'm glad my sister-in-law wasn't standing close enough to get my stretch marks or my belly fat in this picture. Hopefully everyone will be distracted by the bikini and won't look at my face which isn't very pretty. I should have put some makeup on. And gel in my hair. Or at least worn a cute sun hat. No, I would have looked dumb in that too." You might be thinking that I must have the lowest self-esteem in the world. But this is how millions of people talk to themselves every day. Including me. And I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I don't ever want anyone to believe those things about themselves. I don't want my little niece in this picture to ever feel she isn...

Of those 17 addresses I've had in the past 15 years , this year has been the first time I've ever really lived alone. And not only lived alone, but enjoyed living alone. In the past, when I've had a place of my own, I've always been quick to fill it with guests. Neighbors, nearby friends, traveling guests, roommates, Bible study groups, clearness committees, dance parties, etc. Or else I've spent so little time at my own place, choosing instead to be out, or at friends homes, or working, that I could hardly call what I was doing "living alone". In other words, I would do anything to fill the lonely spaces. Plus it can be wonderful to be with others and share your space with someone else. I was so glad to have Kim as a roommate the year that the raccoons took to mating up against my bedroom window. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have her to wake up at 5 a.m. with a "You've got to see this!" I was even more ...

Last Sunday, Mr. K. from church and I were talking about how there isn't much worthwhile on television any more. (Of course that doesn't stop me from watching it.) As I was thinking about why we don't find these shows worthwhile, I decided it was because they aren't encouraging. They don't "build us up" as people or as a community of people. When you think of the "glory days" of television, you think of "Leave it to Beaver" and "Little House on the Prairie", shows that portrayed an ideal family. They were encouraging because they made us feel hopeful about humanity. Content of today's shows can be summarized by their one-word titles: "Mistresses", "Betrayal", "Scandal", "Revenge". Not exactly the pinnacle of hope that television once was. As I said, this doesn't prevent me from watching these shows. But it does make me want to be more intentional in my daily life about enco...

Ever since I saw this notice to obliterate my browsing history since the beginning of time, I've really wanted to EMBRACE OBLITERATION . What a great word - obliteration! But what a scary concept. To have that much power. To wipe out something entirely. Not even just doing away with it in the future. But completely eliminating it from the past. From the beginning of time. So it feels like it has to be big things. Not small things like zits or shin splints or Fran Drescher's voice. But big things like cancer, poverty, racism. But somehow even those don't seem big enough. Could there be one thing we could obliterate that would solve all the other problems? Make all the difference in the world, from the beginning of time? The best I can come up with is this: I'd obliterate the feeling of being unloved. Completely wipe it out. So that everyone would know, for all time, and never doubt that they are loved. Unconditionally. Without reservation. An exuberant, child-...

Last week while we were at the beach my sister-in-law Jennifer offered her daughter, my 13-month old niece Riley, a handful of variously colored Fruit Loops. I watched as Jenn held out her open palm. Riley selected three purple loops, one at a time, and placed them in her mouth. I laughed. "I guess we know what her favorite color is," I said. Jenn reached into the box for a new handful. Again Riley selected only the purple loops. Jenn reached for a third handful, this time hiding the one purple loop under the other colors in her hand. Riley sorted through the loops until she found the purple one. When Jenn continued to hold out her hand full of loops, devoid of any purple options, Riley grabbed indiscriminately for a handful of assorted colors and put them all in her mouth at one time. While Riley has been exposed to every color of the rainbow, from books to clothes to cartoons to the landscape around her, her bedroom in Oklahoma and now in Texas has always been pur...

My earliest and fondest memories are of going on vacation with my family. Five of us piling into a station wagon before the sun came up in order to drive all day from Ohio to Iowa, Ohio to Myrtle Beach, Ohio to Gatlinburg or Branson or Bella Vista. Not stopping until we came to a Shoney's or a teepee hotel. Laying down the backseats so my brothers and I could pile on top of our luggage for naps, reading, eating cheese out of a can. We sang along to Kenny Rogers and Garth Brooks, Jim Croce and Tom Petty, and made up our own lyrics. We played the license plate game and travel yahtzee. Repeatedly asking if we were there yet, more out of orneriness than boredom or anticipation. When we arrived at our destination we would play with our cousins -- fish, hike, 4-wheel, cave, swim, sled, play detective, whatever -- picking right up where we left off 6 months or a year before. Eleven of us would share one bathroom. Grandpa would tell jokes and teach us to play cards. Grandma would cuddle ...

Eight years ago I went on an Emmaus Walk . In short, the "walk" is a three-day stay at a local church where "pilgrims" learn more about God and His great grace, and can have a personal encounter with Christ, just like the disciples did on the road to Emmaus in the Gospel of Luke . An amazing group of women were on the "walk" with me. I have never laughed so much in my entire life. And also learned so much, cried so much, sang so much, and opened my heart so wide to God. One thing that I have never forgotten is that my "table group" (a small group of women who I was paired up with for the weekend) adopted the word "freedom" to describe ourselves. I have no recollection as to why we chose this word, but it came to mind yesterday since the word is so freely used to define our Independence Day in the U.S., the fourth of July. When I think back to the Emmaus Walk, I imagine we were feeling a variety of different types of freedom. Fre...

Kasen, duck caller in training. Tessa pointed at the bearded man sitting next to us at the t-ball game last night and said, "Hey, that guy is on TV!" He did bear a striking resemblance to Willie Robertson. I've long since loved the family dinner night and prayer that concludes each episode of Duck Dynasty. But now that I've started watching the show with my nephew, and often with the girls, parents, and grandparents too, there are so many other things I love about this show. I love that it focuses on family. And that family is defined in the broadest sense of the word. Be it husband, wife, son, grandson, uncle, neighbor, or employee, all are welcome at the family dinner table. I love that God and the Bible are both understated and undenied. You might go a whole episode and only hear God implied in the prayer at the end. Or you might hear Phil overtly tell his grandsons to marry a woman who can cook and carry a Bible. Or Si say all he needs is Jesus and his...

I'm leading campfire devotions at our local church camp this week, hoping to shine a light in the lives of 30 or so 8 to 11 year olds and their teenage counselors. As I prayed about how to keep their attention at 9:30 p.m. after they had been on the go all day I decided to use the time to let them teach me. "What did you learn today?" I asked. "About David and Goliath," one girl offered. "Cool!" I said. "Who is David?" "I don't know," she replied. "A boy," another little girl offered. "A shepherd boy," a young guy who seemed to know his stuff helped. "A king," another shared. "That's right," I said. "David defeated Goliath in preparation to become king. How did you all prepare to come to camp?" "I brought a sleeping bag." "I brought clothes and a swim suit." "Bug spray. Sunscreen. Hand sanitizer. Deodorant." (Yes, the same ...

I love getting up with the sun. I don't have curtains or blinds on my bedroom windows, so when daylight begins to stream in (or fog, as the case was this morning) I yawn and stretch and jump up to begin my day. Some mornings are easier to jump out of bed than others. There are lots of variables. How well I slept the night before. If my arthritis is acting up. Whether or not my dog is here to run with me. If I went to bed with regret or anger or sadness. What is on the day's agenda. Regardless of whether I jump up with vigor, or ease my way slowly out from under the covers, every morning promises a new opportunity. A day filled with potential. New books to be read, new lines to be written, new chances to do things right, fresh coffee to fill my cup. The old has gone the new has come. And the earlier I get up, the more time I have to embrace it. EMBRACE MORNINGS . The Book of Genesis records God's creation of the world in 6 days, resting on the 7th. Each day is marke...

Tessa wishing for new things on her birthday. February 25, 2013. Tessa: "Aunt Katie, do you want to come over tomorrow to watch a new Lalaloopsy ?" Me: "No." Tessa: "But don't you like to try new things?" I've done all kinds of new things lately. Halo (salt) therapy. Gardening. Triathlon training. Drinking hemp milk. Not second guessing my decisions. Watching a new season of The Bachelorette. Going with the flow. Hanging pictures on my walls. Some of these new things are more challenging than others. Some stretch me more. Some require more courage initially. And others are a no brainer. But I've also encountered the possibility of new things that I have not yet embraced. Actually competing in a triathlon. Cleaning out my closets. Writing a novel. Not getting my feelings hurt so easily. Watching a new episode of Lalaloopsy. Hot yoga. While I was not enticed by Tessa's request to watch a new cartoon with her, I do applaud ...

My nieces love to count how many people are around the dinner table, particularly on Sunday nights when we have family dinner night and a dozen of us are gathered around. This usually happens in English and Spanish (thank you Dora the Explorer!), but occasionally the adults will chime in with Japanese, French, and German too. I love when this happens because languages are so beautiful.  Preparing for my trip to Texas... It's also amazing to listen as the kids' vocabulary grows.  Kasen asked last week what "adopted" meant.  Tessa has learned the phrases "I can't believe my eyes" and "Isn't it amazing" and she includes them in all of the stories she weaves.   Kaylee's definition of work means "leaving home." (She told me Grandpa's job was to make pancakes and chocolate milk, presumably because she once went to a Lion's Club breakfast where he was cooking. She has visited him on the farm too and se...

Yesterday I started the day by cleaning the bathroom. Then I washed bedding and, once the sheets were dry, made the bed. I walked my dog a couple times and had a salad for lunch. My neighbor and I had a friendly chat, and my dad and I talked about the weather. I did a little research and made some notes to prepare for a call with one of my work supervisors. I read a few chapters in Ezekiel and paid some bills. For an afternoon snack I had a piece of peach pie and a cup of Hazelnut coffee. I watched an episode of Life Today and looked at airline tickets to Corpus Christi. I got the mail and filled the car up with gas. Because it was Monday I went to my brother's house for dinner, time with the kids, and Dancing with the Stars with my sister-in-law. It was an ordinary day. But here's the extraordinary part: I enjoyed every minute of it. I didn't grumble about having to clean the bathroom. I didn't leave the sheets in a pile all day because I dreaded the chore of ...

Yesterday was one of those perfect days where every moment felt blessed. My heart was open to experiencing God's grace and He did not disappoint. From a joyful morning work call to an afternoon of music to an evening of watching my nieces try to teach my dog how to sit, I was content in all circumstances . I didn't even freak out when I pulled yet another tick off my leg (the third this week). I haven't known this kind of peace lately, so I was especially grateful. So grateful in fact, that I didn't bother thinking about what I was going to write about embracing today. I was too busy in the moment, simply being. What a great place to be. EMBRACE BEING . Watching The Bible miniseries . 

When my sister and I decided to each pick a "word of the year" we had no idea what we were getting into. But we should have known better, because on day one neither of us picked our words. They were definitely God-chosen. And God continues to show up, every day, on my journey to "embrace" 2013. Some days I have to look harder than others. But other days He just lays it out for me. Take this week for example. On Monday night, after an evening of Dancing with the Stars and a long conversation with my sis about how to solve the world's problems, I was scraping the ice off my windshield while my car warmed up. My radio was tuned to a station I have lots of God-moments with, and there must have been a good song on when I pulled in earlier in the day because the volume was noticeable. When the windshield was clear I slid into the driver's seat and was told by the DJ: " You have to embrace brokenness before you can embrace healing ." It was such a vis...

Life-long Duke fans. December 2009. Brackets, like life, are full of predictability. Number one wins. Number sixteen loses. Brackets, like life, are full of upsets. The underdog wins. The most decorated loses. Brackets, like life, are full of chance. The blue team wins. The blue team loses. Good. Bad. Predictable. Surprising. Happy. Sad. Winner. Loser. The odds of coming up with a perfect bracket are 9.2 quintillion to one.  The odds of knowing how your life will turn out, however, is probably more like infinity to one. Some decisions, like some games, are more important than others. Sometimes you make the right decision and it turns out in your favor. Sometimes it doesn't turn out the way you planned. Sometimes you make the wrong decision but in the end life rights it for you. Other times you have to dig your way out of your mess. You can make the same decision twice and it will turn out exactly the same. Or exactly the opposite. You can have a perfect first round bracket, ...

I haven't been to church in the past two weeks because I can't bear the thought of Ruth Anna not being across the aisle from me. My whole life she has been there. And now she's gone. When I was 13, Ruth Anna and her husband Ben loaded up myself and two of their grandsons and off we went on a road trip to Iowa. Once there, they dropped me off at my grandparents' house--my second home.  While I was fishing and playing cards and enjoying my vacation, Ben and Ruth Anna were also visiting one of their second homes--among the Mesquakie Indians. Ruth Anna wasn't just an Indian brave; her whole life says bravery to me. How else do you explain her willingness to take three teenagers on a road trip at the age of 70? Her lifelong commitment to serving others? The adventurous spirit that led her to take up ice skating late in life? Even when her eyesight began to fail, she didn't let it stop her. She had spent a lifetime holding Ben's hand, so it was nothing new to ...