2020

Let me start by apologizing for leaving you hanging last year. Last I wrote we were being cast as characters in a Truman Capote novel, witnesses to the crime of the century in Kansas. That was "Leg 21." There were other legs. We went on to tour museums in Missouri and stay at an epic campground in Illinois and sleep in the Friends United Meeting parking lot in Indiana and eventually made it to Ohio, where we slept in the RV in a short-term parking lot at the Columbus airport waiting for Randy's daughter, Danielle, to arrive to retrieve Van. Once Van and Danielle were safely back in California, Randy and I hit the road again. We went to Toledo for hot dogs, slept in a Home Depot parking lot in Michigan, climbed sand dunes in Indiana and swam in Lake Michigan with my brother and his kids, played baseball on the Field of Dreams and attended my grandmother's memorial service in my second childhood home of Hubbard, Iowa. We broke into the home where my grandmot...

Yellowstone National Park is uniquely situated so that it spans 3 states: Wyoming (96%), Idaho (1%), and Montana (3%). So all week we were bouncing back and forth between these states! (Fun fact: Wyoming is the 9th largest state in the U.S. in terms of land size, but the least populated of all 50 states. Montana isn't much different, ranking 4th largest in land size and 44th in population. No wonder this is Big Sky Country--there are no people or businesses or homes to block your view!) After leaving Yellowstone through Cooke City, we took the Beartooth and Chief Joseph highways into Cody, Wyoming. I can't tell you how many people we've met in the last few months who have told us to go to Cody. No one ever said what we were supposed to do there, however, they just said to go. We found a town full of history and museums, guns and graves. And I couldn't muster up the energy for any of it.  I sent Randy and Van off to explore while I took a nap (the ...

On Easter Sunday, Randy and I said our goodbyes to the kids and staff at Sonshine Hacienda. We went to the early morning church service (in English), and then said our goodbyes to the kids before they left for the later Spanish service. A couple of the girls were crying, but nothing serious. And then I hugged my 9-year-old boy, who for the past 6 months has been asking if we will adopt him. As he snuggled into my arms for what could be the last time, he broke down into full-blown sobs. It absolutely wrecked me. There was nothing I could do but say “Te amo mijo”, I love you my son, and put him on the bus with 24 other kids we may or may not see again.  Our plan was to leave while the kids were at church. But nothing really went according to plan that day. They got out of church early, and packing and cleaning was taking us longer than we’d planned, so when they ran into the hacienda a few hours later we were still there. We sat down and had lunch with them and thankfu...

Today would have been my grandmother's 84th birthday. She's been gone now just 2 days shy of a month and it's still hard for me to believe she isn't here. My grandfather died unexpectedly in 1996. A few months before his death, he told me that if anything ever happened to him that my grandmother would move to Ohio and we would have to take care of her. So when he died later that same year, I fully expected my grandmother to move in with us. She was 62 at the time and, to my 16-year-old self, was old and needed us to take care of her. My 65-year-old grandfather had just passed away, confirming that grandma, too, didn't have long to live. So when my grandma didn't move in with us, instead traveling the world, running off to Mexico and Spain and casinos and forming "Bible studies" (can you still call it a Bible study when there are margaritas involved?) I was confused. And mad. And guilty because is there anything worse than being mad at your gr...

My word of the year presented itself sometime in November. My first thought was, "Ew." It was NOT the word I was hoping for. But none of them -- embrace, walk with, serve, share -- have turned out like I expected. So maybe this one, too, would be okay. But really  -- FIERCE --  are you sure God, that you are speaking to ME? Fierce makes me think of desperate older women chasing younger men. Fierce makes me think of fake cat noises. Fierce makes this pacifist think of war paint and javelins. Fierce sounds like energy and intensity and a strength that I just don't have. Fierce makes me tired. So I suppose, once again, that God wants to challenge me to embrace this word as coming from him and his vision for who I could be, or perhaps underneath it all who I already am. And what would be so wrong with ending 2018 stronger, more passionate, wilder and bolder and empowered? As someone who STANDS for something. As I've looked into "fierce...

Because it is hot nearly year-round in San Felipe, we've had to come up with a new way to "define" the seasons. There is no rainy season, snowy season, tornado season. Instead we define our seasons by which bugs are attacking us. When we first moved into our apartment at the children's home, I noticed that all of our outlets had these "bug magnets" plugged into them. I didn't know if that was reassuring or terrifying. Reassuring that we were actively repelling them. But terrifying that they are enough of a problem to require a force field around us. We have lived here since November, and so far we have been through 3 seasons. We moved here during fly season. So many flies! Inside, outside, there was no avoiding them. I guess it just doesn't get cold enough to kill them off. But if I thought fly season was bad, that was nothing compared to mosquito season, which struck around the middle of February. I started noticing them in the offi...

In 2003 I left my job in Yosemite National Park (Wawona, California) to live with my grandmother in Bella Vista, Arkansas, and become a full-time writer. But instead of heading east, straight to her place, I started out going west. I put my feet in the Pacific Ocean and got sunburned on the beach. I listened to Paul Theroux talk about his latest book, Dark Star Safari , at the Capitola Book Cafe. I bought local honey and oranges at the Santa Cruz farmer's market. I spent an afternoon in Shakespeare's Garden at Golden Gate Park . I saw protests and arrests in Berkeley -- President Bush having just declared war on Iraq. I slept at a fire station in Napa and ate Olallieberry Pie in Pescadero . I didn't have a cell phone at the time, so I called my grandmother from a pay phone along the way. I told her about my latest adventures. "Are you lost?" she asked, thinking I should be halfway to Arkansas by now. Some had the same reaction when Randy and I moved out ...

Dia de los Muertos (“Day of the Dead”) is a tradition celebrated in Mexico. It is believed that at the stroke of midnight on October 31, the gates of heaven are opened and the souls of lost loved ones (children first, and later adults) are allowed to return to earth to celebrate with their families through November 2. Randy and I had a going away/closing the business/embarking on a new adventure party last week, and two of his daughters used the theme of Dia de los Muertos to decorate for us.  Randy wanted to have the party to celebrate all of the people who made his catering business a success, and in turn he was shown how much he is loved. It was an incredible evening. Over 200 people showed up to say goodbye to their favorite caterer, as well as to learn more about our calling to Mexico. The challenge of having a party of any size is that you don’t get enough time to spend with everyone, but I did hear from so many people how much they love Randy (a...

Life is always changing. Sometimes it feels like a long process, sometimes it happens in an instant, and other times it just sneaks right up on you. A year ago, Randy and I were in the middle of nowhere ( Pie Town, New Mexico ), 100 percent sure that it was our next move. His mom was told she only had 6 months to live , so our plan was to care for her in her final days. During our visit, I envisioned putting my office in the loft. And already anticipated being irritated by the television and phone calls and visitors below. Randy made up the plans to convert the garage into a master suite for us. We even picked out our flooring. I researched getting certified to teach at the local elementary school and Randy had scoped out the local diner where he planned to "sling hash." We were excited about the hiking and bouldering opportunities in the area and even bought special shoes. But as the months passed by, mom seemed to be as stubborn and healthy as ever. An...