2020

No matter what has happened or not happened this year, how busy or how bored I've been, how happy or how sad, I have found time each day to pause, focus, reflect, search, embrace, or at least desire to embrace something or someone. That, in and of itself, is powerful. Transformative. A reminder that we make time for what is important. That there is always time. Time for a moment, a word, a vision, a breath, a smile that can turn an entire day--an entire year--on its head. And it all began with one word . A focus for the year. Declaring who  I wanted to be and how I wanted to live 2013. With arms wide open. Confronting fears head on. Receiving opportunities and unexpected gifts, ordinary days and extraordinary moments. Inviting the world into my heart and extending that invitation to you, in case seeing the world through my eyes might enlarge your vision as well. Because none of us journey alone. We are called to be encouragers, to love one another, to build one another u...

Sometimes Saturdays are about sleeping in, watching cartoons, and not having to go to school. Other times they are about running errands and cleaning house and having a big breakfast of pancakes or french toast. According to Tessa the best thing about Saturdays is that "Daddy doesn't go to work", which means he is home all day to play. I have never heard anyone say "I hate Saturdays". We all love these times of breaking routine and slowing down and being together. But I don't think we have to limit those things to Saturdays. Just like we don't have to limit Christmas to one day. Christmas too is about family and togetherness and love and celebration. Even if Mondays aren't like Saturdays and Wednesdays aren't like Christmas we can still find moments of togetherness and breaking routine and slowing down to appreciate what is important no matter what the calendar says. EMBRACE SATURDAYS . And Saturday-like moments. Each and every day. ...

In a world of thinkers and feelers, I am 100 percent thinker. I haven't the faintest clue what to do with my emotions. In fact I will do most anything to avoid them. Pierce my nose, live in my car, get a tattoo, jump out of an airplane. And those are just the things I've already tried! I love hanging out with emotional people though. Observing them. Trying to rationalize their behavior. Copying their posture and facial expressions to determine what is happening in their bodies. Because when I'm happy I get a knot in my neck. And when I'm sad I get a knot in my shoulder. When I'm angry the tension settles in my lower back. And joy feels a lot like a charlie horse. I don't know for sure, but I would guess that people who are more connected to their emotions don't feel pained by every new feeling. But the world needs both. Thinkers and feelers. And if we are willing to learn from one another, to grow and not be so afraid of the other, we can be more ba...

I absolutely love the holidays. The busy-ness. The togetherness. The loudness. The celebration and shiny things and too much food. And afterwards I absolutely need a day (or 3) of quiet. To reflect. Recharge. And relish all of the gifts that togetherness and busy-ness and loudness brings. So I for one am going to take today to be quiet. To sit and stare. To read and walk. To drive without the radio on. To be alone with my thoughts, remembering my favorite holiday moments and looking forward to the journey to come. EMBRACE QUIET . What about you? Do you relish the post-holiday quiet? Or are you just the opposite, longing once again for noise and toys and holidays to come?

Of all the gifts I gave my nephew for Christmas, these Buzz Lightyear pajamas were definitely his favorite. Above legos and Skylanders and far above the nice shirts I got him. No sooner had he tore into the wrapping than he disappeared down the hall and re-emerged as a superhero. The girls were equally excited about their nightgowns. And I think they were trying to get cousin Riley excited too in the picture above. My family never had the tradition of getting new Christmas pajamas on Christmas Eve like it seems so many do. But this year, seeing the kids' excitement inspired me to go home and put on my own Christmas jammies and spend most of Christmas day in them. And I really couldn't imagine a more perfect day. Curled up in flannel, with coffee and movies and leftovers, surrounded by the people (and dog) I love. I think I might have just adopted a new Christmas tradition! EMBRACE PAJAMAS . Are pjs one of your Christmas traditions?

Christmas is filled with magic. It is parents thinking creatively like kids again, participating in the wonder of the season by bringing to life an Elf on a Shelf. It is imagining the possibility of the impossible, where one man could be filled with enough love that, for one magical night, he could bring joy to every child on earth. It is the birth of a Savior, born "without incident", quietly, humbly, with the ability to change the world.   The magic of Christmas is not bought or found in a box wrapped in shiny paper. The magic is found in the snowflakes that hit your windshield on Christmas Eve at 3 in the morning. It is in the handwritten note that your dad put under the tree for you, telling you that he is proud and you are loved. It is in nieces and cousins dancing and singing, "Deck the Halls with lots of holly, Fa la ha ha ha!" It is in spontaneous hugs and mason jars and everyone being home for Christmas. The real magic of Christmas is found in momen...

Kenzi and I were texting a friend of mine on Sunday evening, which sparked a rather interesting conversation. Kenzi : Are you texting Daddy? Me : No. That's not Daddy. That is my friend. Kenzi : Is he going to marry you? Me : Not today. Kenzi : Is he at your house? Me : No. He is at his house. Kenzi : Why? Me : Because his kids are there. Kenzi : And their Mommy? Me : No. She doesn't live there any more. She has a different house. Kenzi : Why? Me : Because sometimes mommies and daddies have different houses. Kenzi : Because they don't love each other any more? Me : That's right. But your Mommy and Daddy will always love each other. Kenzi : Why did you switch houses? Me : So I could live closer to you. Kenzi : I wish you lived in the backyard. Then we could have pajama parties whenever we wanted. I didn't tell Kenzi the whole truth. Where I moved was to be closer to her. But why I moved was because I got divorced. (Though not b...

Yesterday my sermon was about the importance of names. Matthew 1 begins with a list of names, the genealogy of Jesus. Mark 1 begins with baptism, when our name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. Luke 1 begins with an angel telling Zechariah he would have a son, to be named John. And John 1 says "In the beginning...", reminding us of Genesis when God called things into creation, named them, and gave Adam his first assignment--to name all the animals. And because we are celebrating Jesus' birthday this week, we talked about His all important name. Jesus, which means "God saves." And Immanuel, "God is with us." Not "for" us. But "with" us. Dwelling among us. Walking the earth. Filling our hearts. I also shared that Katie means "pure". A name I've always been intimidated by. A name I never thought I could live up to. But through this year of self-exploration, of embracing fears and family and lessons ...

When I got in the pool yesterday my arms felt like they weighed 50 pounds. And I'd just climbed a mountain on the treadmill so my legs weren't any better. Some days are like that. You just aren't at your best. And you have the choice to dig deep and push through it, or get out of the water. Already in the pool were a dozen or so senior citizens. Jogging in their water shoes and one piece suits while lifting weights and sitting on noodles. So I, in my jogging shorts because I don't feel comfortable in swimsuit bottoms, sucked it up and swam some laps. Changing it up every lap or two to try and trick my body into thinking it wasn't as sluggish as it felt. Freestyle, backstroke, sidestroke, breaststroke. All because a pool full of grandmas had been jogging in their swimsuit bottoms for at least 30 minutes before I'd even gotten in the pool. After I had swam for a good 20 minutes or so and they were still noodling, I decided I could justify getting out of th...

I was walking home from my parents house yesterday and had one of those rare moments when I just stopped and thought, "Everything is perfect." My younger brother and his family had just arrived from Texas. My older brother and his family would join us later that day. I was starting a new project for work. I get to deliver God's message this week. My niece is getting baptized on Sunday. We will all be together for Christmas. Friendships have been renewed, and my heart is wide open to the limitless possibilities of 2014. I am happy! And not in a "this is too perfect and it is all about to come crashing down" kind of way. But in an "I'm going to embrace this moment, this feeling, this utter happiness for as many breaths as it is mine" kind of way. Because I'd rather appreciate--really appreciate--all that I have to be thankful for, than spend even one minute worrying about any of it getting taken away. EMBRACE HAPPINESS . If and when tha...

I tend to look at December--and winter in general--through the lens of "endings". A fallow period. Where things die, not grow. The end of a year and lots of other things. But Christmas is all about new life. New beginnings. The birth of a child. The beginning of an era. It may be the end of some things. But it's not the end of all things. I can choose to look at winter through a different lens. A lens of wholeness. One that sees that death leads to life. That endings lead to new beginnings. New opportunities. That out of the darkness comes birth and growth and life and light. Winter is and can be one of unlimited potential and availability. One of promise. I don't have to wait until Spring to  EMBRACE NEW BEGINNINGS . I can--I will--choose life today.

My favorite thing about relationships is that they are all so different. I have some friends who I hang out with and I do all the listening. With others I do all the talking. And some are more balanced. Yet I love all of these relationships. I have friends who I can go 15 years without seeing and yet we can pick up right where we left off. Some friends I make a point to see at least once a month, whereas others we are good to see each other once a year. Some I met at church, others at school or work, an Al-Anon meeting or the grocery store. Where and how we met isn't what validates these relationships, however, and the frequency with which we see each other isn't based on how much I love these people. I love them all. My mom and I can sit and talk for hours. My dad and I can work side-by-side for hours. My brothers and I can play for hours. My dog and I can walk for hours. Alone I can read and write for hours. That's right. You can have a relationship with family an...

5 of my last 6 meals have been breakfast. It is always a good time for breakfast. 5 a.m. or 5 p.m. 11 a.m. or 11 p.m. 3 in the afternoon. In my kitchen or yours or the Country Kitchen up the road. There's never a bad time for bacon, eggs, kale, biscuits, gravy... (And yes, I count kale as breakfast food!) EMBRACE BREAKFAST . How many breakfasts will you have today?

In 2002, my first job out of college landed me inside a cubicle. After a month I was so claustrophobic I quit and moved to California where I lived in a cabin at the base of a mountain, surrounded by trees and hiking trails and a river fed by snowmelt. I loved everything about the California outdoors. The dramatic scenery--mountains, deserts, oceans, Joshua trees and Giant Sequoias. The wildlife--especially the bears that tumbled down mountains and across the road where you were driving. The fresh air--both mountain air and salty ocean breezes. But this past year I've learned that the outdoors can be spectacular even without bears and glaciers and saltwater. Without canyons or geysers or caves. After working in an office--even though it was a really nice office with lots of windows--from 2006-12 and never having time to enjoy the day from the outside, I'm simply happy to be outdoors again. Working from home where I give myself at least 2 hours a day to be outside. I hav...

Recently Kenzi learned how to draw hearts. She's very excited about this new accomplishment and regularly tucks her drawings into my coat pockets. Which means I randomly come across these "love notes" when I'm looking for my grocery list, my car keys, and my gloves. And they always make me smile. I couldn't tell you the last time I put my heart on paper. But it was a huge part of my adolescence. Writing and receiving words of affection in pencil or in pen. Paper folder fancy ways. Secretly passing my love to a girlfriend to pass to her boyfriend to pass on to mine. And while I do adore a "Good morning beautiful" text, a comment on my Facebook page, or even an email filled with kindness, I absolutely treasure these hearts on paper, tucked quietly in my pockets, waiting to surprise me with a reminder that I am loved.   EMBRACE LOVE NOTES . When was the last time you wrote a love note? Or received one? Why not today! Even a few words on a ...

Tessa : "Do you know whose name starts with d?" Me : "Daddy." Tessa , bursting into tears at the mere mention of his name: "Is Daddy ever coming home?" This was Monday night, and Tim had just tucked her into bed the night before. Me : "He'll be home Thursday." Tessa : "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. But that's a long time!" Me : "Do you need Daddy's pillow to sleep with?" Tessa : Head nodding, still talking even though I'm leaving the room to get Daddy's pillow, "Will Daddy be here for family dinner night?" Me : Returning with the pillow, "Of course. Daddy wouldn't miss family dinner night." Fast forward until Tuesday night. Tim calls to talk to the kids before they go to bed. I let Tessa answer the phone and her lip starts to quiver as soon as she hears his voice. Fighting back tears she says to Daddy: "Aunt Katie gave me your pillow and Mommy gave me your wo...

It makes me a little sad that our "30 Days of Thankfulness" (aka November) is over. So I've decided to do something similar leading up to Christmas. It's called " These are a Few of My Favorite Things... " and I'll come up with at least one thing each day through Christmas. Today my favorite things are: My living room. It took me all year to get around to painting it, but now that the walls are done I feel like I just want to settle there, in my home, with my coffee and kindle and Jovi.  The view out my bedroom window. In Indiana my bedroom window faced my neighbor's bedroom window and there was only about 15 feet between us. I'd say snowy trees and no neighbors in sight is a much better view to wake up to!  Waterproof boots. The snow is way too beautiful not to walk in each and every day. But it is so much more beautiful when you can come in with dry socks! Thank you Lowa for making my winter more enjoyable!  EMBRACE FAVORITE THIN...

My aunt and uncle send the best Christmas letters. The "old fashioned" kind where they actually type up an entire letter to give you a sense of their year. Where they found joy. And struggle. What they did to make the world a little brighter. And a page full of photos that capture memorable family moments. It brings me joy every year to receive this letter, and it isn't lessened at all by the fact that we are Facebook friends and I know most of this stuff anyway. If I were to write a Christmas letter it might say... I have felt more peace this year after returning to the family farm in Ohio and setting up home than I have in a long time. And my heart has begun to heal from all the chapters that were closed when I left Indiana last December. "I" decided to EMBRACE all things in 2013, which led to an almost daily blog, which led to new friendships and experiences I would never have had otherwise. I competed in two triathlons and didn't die. I began pre...

I stopped my car in the middle of the street Saturday afternoon to roll down my window and snap this photo of the sledding hill in Wilmington, Ohio. It was loud with laughter and screams as kids, friends, siblings, and parents enjoyed the newly fallen snow. Some of my favorite memories growing up are of the snow. Getting snowed in at Christmas in Iowa, Ohio, and even Texas. Sledding, skating, and snowball fights. Snowmen and snow caves. School delays and cancellations. Getting pulled on a sled behind a 4-wheeler and a tractor. Frostbite on our wrists and ankles and bellies. Then, as an adult, moving to the mountains in California where they talked about an impending snowfall in terms of how many feet we would get, not inches. I learned to put chains on my tires because you don't stay home when it snows in the mountains. I wore snowshoes so as not to post-hole while hiking Big Trees . And we lined our driveways with Christmas lights so we could find our way home or to a pa...

I am a terrible housekeeper. I never remember to dust and I haven't seen my kitchen table in months. Yes I do eat at said table. And if you want to join me you are welcome to put your plate on a book or magazine of your choice. I have zero willpower. Every 3 months for 10 days I do a "cleanse" and only eat lean meat, fruits, and vegetables. I am yet to make it to day 5 without cheating. I am very wasteful. I waste everything. Everything. I had never heard of Saint Nicholas Day until yesterday (even though Wikipedia says it is popular in Cincinnati). And it sounds really scary. Kids getting butchered (on a similar note, did you hear they are going to make a movie out of the books Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark ?). Demons kidnapping naughty children. Giving presents to unmarried women who "need" to find a husband. (Maybe it's not such a shortcoming to have neglected to put my shoes outside Thursday night.) Typically when we talk about shortcomings ...

Nearly every day I spend with my nieces and nephew someone ends up with a band-aid. And every time I've taken them shopping we end up with multiple boxes in our cart. (If you need Christmas ideas, it's the perfect stocking stuffer!) Band-aids cover minor hurts. With this crew it is usually a hangnail. Or a playground scrape. And often times a "dot" invisible to the adult eye but definitely there in the eyes of a 4-year-old and definitely in need of a band-aid. And as this photo of Kaylee professes, a simple band-aid makes everything better. Thumbs and smiles and the ability to go back to the horseplay that likely caused the infraction to begin with. The Bible  says "love covers a multitude of sins". As simply as a band-aid can cover our hurts and wipe our tears away , so can the choice to love above all else. Kids can be overly dramatic about their need for a band-aid and the severity of the injury that requires such. But we adults can be equally dra...

Last night at dinner my nieces "got the giggles". For no apparent (at least not to me) reason. About 10 minutes into the giggling I grabbed my phone to record their smiles. Sweet innocence. Pure joy. Not deep belly laughs. Just a calm happiness at being alive. And being together. Isn't that reason enough to smile? EMBRACE THE GIGGLES .

Walking in the dense morning fog yesterday reminded me that we can't always see where we are going. We don't always know where things will end up--jobs, relationships, projects, travel, challenges, blessings... I certainly didn't anticipate enjoying having a " word of the year " so much. I could never have imagined all the opportunities I've had to embrace life and living this year. But I did it. Day by day. Step by step. And just like walking in the fog, the joy and love and opportunities have unfolded little by little right before my eyes. And now we are in our final weeks of 2013. With no idea what is to come in 2014. And that's okay. Because we'll figure it out. Step by step. Day by day. So long as we keep moving forward. Head-on into the unknown. EMBRACE FOG . We are all on this journey, with endless opportunities to walk blindly into new adventures and deeper into current ones.

On Sunday evening the girls were showing me their newly decorated Christmas tree, pulling ornaments off one at a time to show me their favorites. Gingerbread people. Candy canes. Reindeer. Wreaths. "And this one is a pirate ship," Tysen said, cupping her hands around an elaborate ornament. "Actually that is Noah's Ark," I said. (Easy mistake.) My sister-in-law then told me about her conversation with my nephew in which she told him the reason we celebrate Christmas is because it is Jesus' birthday. "Why didn't anyone tell me?!!" he exclaimed. By now you know how much I love being around these kids. To hear their stories and songs. To be challenged by their questions and imaginations. To see them connect with the world. To experience wonder afresh alongside them. And I'm excited to see them experience more of Christmas this year, more of the reason for the season. The Christmas season is all about anticipating and receiving the...

I know most people hate first dates. But I absolutely love them! Fretting over the perfect outfit. Anxiety about where to go and what to do. Hoping you won't say anything stupid or trip over a crack in the sidewalk or get food stuck in your teeth. Flowers. Opening doors. Holding hands. Exchanging smiles. Pretending to like each other's music. And sense of humor. And shoes. At least for the first hour. Until you realize you have to be honest or else you might be stuck with those shoes and jokes and bands for the rest of your life. And the night only gets better once you are honest. Or worse. But either way it's an adventure. Memories in the making. Every date should be like this, no matter how long you've been together. Nerve wracking and exciting. Eager to learn about your partner and to share your heart. Seeking common ground and growth opportunities. Learning to be flexible and to set boundaries. Appreciating one another with smiles and car doors and time. A...