permission
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| Wendy, Christina, Me. Women of Faith! |
Once we navigated parking in the city, bounced on our super comfy hotel beds, and had a delicious dinner at the Three Legged Mare, we entered Nationwide Arena and a spirit of worship with thousands of other women (and a few men!).
After singing with the amazing Gateway Worship band (their church is just down the street from my office in Texas!), cracking up with the hilarious comedian Mark Lowry (famous for writing the song "Mary, did you know?"), and being inspired by 21 year-old Jamie Grace (listen to her music, seriously!), they gave us a short break before CeCe Winans (Whitney Houston's spiritual momma) gave Christina and I a flashback to 15 years ago when we first met and were the only two white girls to join the college gospel choir.
During that short break Christina and I took the opportunity to catch up a little on what is currently going on in our lives. In the midst of that conversation it became very apparent that we were both feeling guilty about being at the conference this particular weekend. There was so much else going on in our lives. Work deadlines for me. A new puppy for her. And so much coordinating that had to happen for us to be able to make this time for ourselves and our God. Her husband's work schedule and where the kids were going to be. Who I was going to inconvenience to ensure my dog was fed and safe. The needs of our friends and family and communities that had to be put on hold so we could be here. Plus we were thinking of our friends who we'd invited but weren't able to attend. For financial reasons. Busy schedules. Or other obligations.
I realized we needed to give ourselves permission to block out two days to spend with God, ourselves, and each other. We needed to give ourselves permission to spend money on the conference tickets and hotel room. We needed to give ourselves permission to forget about everything that needed done and everyone who needed us. This -- God, friendship, and taking time to be spiritually fed -- needed to be a priority. And we shouldn't feel guilty about it.
One of the speakers this weekend asked us why we feel guilty about spending an hour with God when we will spend an hour doing so many unimportant things. Why is it that time with God seems like a luxury we can't afford? An extravagance? Even a non-essential?
We need to give ourselves permission to make God our FIRST priority. And trust Him to figure out the rest.
EMBRACE PERMISSION.
Maybe it isn't time with God you need to give yourself permission for. Maybe it is playing with your kids even though the dishes need done. Or snuggling with your spouse a few extra minutes even though you need to get ready for work. Maybe it is taking an hour away from your responsibilities in order to exercise, spending a few extra dollars on groceries in order to make healthier choices, or hiring a babysitter so you can go out with your best friends for a night. Whatever it is that you know deep down in your heart is important, stop feeling guilty and give yourself permission to embrace it.
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