what is

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"I wonder how many times she's been married," he said casually.

"Three I think," I said. Then added, "I guess it just takes some of us a few times."

I could tell by the look on his face that it hadn't occurred to him that, were I to get married, it would be for the third time.

***

"I went to a wedding last night," she said. "I hope this one lasts." Then by way of explanation, "The last two weddings I've been to have ended within the first few months."

It made me wonder, if I were to get married again, if people would say, "I hope this one lasts," or "I wonder how long this one will last," or "Third times a charm?"

***

I can dwell on my mistakes. Or deny my past. I can feel ashamed and embarrassed. Or worry and wonder about what people might think. I can pretend that divorce isn't a big deal. Or convince myself that it was my only choice.

Or I can EMBRACE WHAT IS.

Which is that I have been divorced. Twice. And the second time hurt worse than the first, not less. I can't determine what people will think or what they will say. I can only determine to learn from my mistakes and make different ones as I go forward. Knowing that God knew all my sins and failures and still chose to love me unconditionally and use me for His purposes.


The phrase "embrace what is" came from Unglued, a book I'm reading by Lysa TerKeurst.  


Comments

  1. Comrade KevinJuly 22, 2013 at 6:45 AM

    It seems you have made great strides to forgive yourself and I hope you will continue in that direction.

    Many of my friends are children of divorce. I could make a lot of value judgments about the decisions of their parents, but each situation is unique unto itself. We grow at different speeds and in different ways. I think as long as you are self-aware and honest with yourself, which you seem to be, you will find the clarity you've been seeking.

    ReplyDelete
  2. KatieJuly 22, 2013 at 7:55 AM

    Thank you Kevin!

    ReplyDelete
  3. PhilosoraptorJuly 22, 2013 at 12:24 PM

    You are loved.

    ReplyDelete

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