staying young

Pauline's visitation was yesterday. There was a tea cup and saucer sitting near the casket. I asked her son about it.

"She loved her tea," he said. "She always said she would switch to coffee when she grew up, but she never got that chance."

Pauline would have been 96 next month.


I was reminded of a line from a book I read recently, The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown. The character Cordelia says: "I keep waiting to feel old, to feel like a grown-up, but I don't yet. Do you think that's the big secret adults keep from you? That you never really feel grown-up?"

I agree with Cordelia that I don't feel grown up, but I also agree with Pauline that I don't want or need to if growing up means conforming to a standard of what that means (even though I do enjoy a good cup of coffee!).


Pauline was buried wearing all pink. Her daughter-in-law told me that she was even wearing pink house slippers. Because that's what she wanted.


I want to read books and climb mountains and marvel at the spelling of the word "weird" (i before E except after C or when spelling the word weird). I want to vacation 9 months out of the year and work 3. I want to swim in the ocean and in creeks, ride bikes with my brothers, sing every day, hang out with kids and the elderly, preach and write and travel. I want to play more than I work and laugh more than I sleep. I want to be outside more hours than I am in.


While I was in Texas I was pulling two little girls in a red wagon on the beach. After their mothers were no longer in sight Anna said, "I think we're lost."

"Should we turn back?" I asked.

"No way!" she said. And we ventured forth.


That's what I want -- to get more lost and less found, to not be afraid, to trust strangers and uncharted sand, to EMBRACE STAYING YOUNG.



Woke up yesterday singing Live With Abandon by Newsboys, then went for a 15 mile bike ride and swam in a waterfall with my brother. Now that's a good Monday!