2020

Then Jesus said,  "Come to me,  all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens,  and I will give you rest."  - Matthew 11:28 EMBRACE HIBERNATION . Sometimes staying in bed all day is your best option. Listening to Johnny Cash cover NINs'  Hurt .

One morning in 2002, while walking the streets of Santa Cruz, a man called out to me, "Valentine's Day! Valentine's Day! Let me be your slave!" as if I was the one day a year that inspired people to do anything for love. It was December. I veered off into a bookstore and randomly picked up a copy of Phil Cousineau's  Coincidence or Destiny? Stories of Synchronicity that Illuminate Our Lives   which I purchased and read on the beach later that day. In 2003 I was living in Arkansas with my grandmother, writing a fictional story about religion and poverty in India. In 2004 I started watching church on television in my living room in Ohio because I needed more than 45 minutes on a Sunday morning to feel close to God again. And I started seeing photos of all those spiritually rich and materially poor people in India I had been writing about. In 2005 I got in a fight with my husband and responded by buying a plane ticket to India. The face of Love. India, 2006...

A woman at my church lost her husband a couple months ago. She cries every Sunday. Probably days that aren't Sunday too. Yesterday as I settled in to a time of prayer, instead of praying that God would comfort her I prayed that God would reveal to her how lucky she was to have a love like that. A love that celebrates you for who you are and who you are together. A love so deep that part of you feels missing when it's gone. The tenor to your soprano. EMBRACE TEARS . They are a sign that you truly loved. Watching Pitch Perfect .

"Our sins are so closely related to our fears." - Susie Larson Susie explained in an interview on Life Today  that she had a deep rooted fear of being exposed. As a child she can remember her mother being refused service at a grocery store for having bounced a check, and therefore felt exposed to the community. To protect herself from this fear, Susie ended up exposing others, pointing out their shortcomings and weaknesses, whenever she felt vulnerable. What are your fears? How do you use those fears to protect yourself? If, for example, God was calling you to "embrace" this year, perhaps that might be because you fear rejection and therefore never fully embrace anything. Perhaps. EMBRACE FEARS . You just might learn something about yourself and why you do the things you do. Watching Couples Retreat .

Tessa. January 2013. Confession: I'm pretty oblivious to the emotional needs of others. Oblivious to both their existence and their importance. It's something I've invited God to deal with me about, but so far my other weaknesses seem to be a higher priority. My niece Tessa is way sweeter than I am. She's also very particular about the way life is "supposed" to be. Take bedtime rituals, for example. On evenings when I come over for dinner and play time, Tessa expects me to stay through bedtime in order to give her a kiss and a hug goodnight. Last night, however, I needed to leave early, an hour before bedtime. Needless to say, she was not pleased. Tessa doesn't have tantrums--that is Kenzi--Tessa has meltdowns. She was well on her way when I chose to: EMBRACE SENSITIVITY . "Go get in bed," I told her, already in my winter hat, coat, and gloves. Her eyes lit up. You see, Tessa is really smart too. She knew with those four words what wa...

Yesterday a prayer I had been praying for months was answered. And yet I had my doubts as to whether this was really God answering my prayer,  or simply the universe's timing come to pass. If I really believe God answers prayer, why the doubts? If I don't believe God answers prayer, why pray? "Lord I believe. Help my unbelief." (Mark 9:24) EMBRACE ANSWERED PRAYERS . Reading The Power of Simple Prayer by Joyce Meyer .

Tysen. November 2012. Last night I went to spend a quiet evening of catching up on Parenthood with my sis. It was near 10 p.m. when I arrived, after the kids were all in bed, and a glass of wine was waiting for me. Within the hour I was washing vomit out of Tysen's hair while Kari was putting clean sheets on the bed and soiled sheets in the laundry. Tim got up to check on us, but I was grateful that he let me finish the bath. You see, as an aunt I get to be involved in all the fun parts of the kids' lives: trips to McDonalds, playing dress up, reading books, buying presents. But I miss out on the everyday ordinary moments--the moments that are really what life is all about. So it was an unexpected gift to get thrown up on, to listen to Tysen talk gibberish in the bathtub while I rinsed what was left of a birthday cupcake out of the creases in her neck, and to tell her she was strong and beautiful and loved. There have been so many blessings in my life. Among them ...

Sometimes frustration makes sense. Like when you have a headache, or you are in line at Starbucks and realize your wallet is in your other purse, or the dog pees on the carpet even though you just let her out. Other times it can catch you by surprise. Like when someone invites you to lunch at your favorite restaurant, or tells you the tag is sticking out on your shirt, or asks you to marry them. EMBRACE FRUSTRATION . It is in the moments you are frustrated when you "shouldn't" be that you can learn so much about yourself--about your expectations, your unmet needs, where you are out of balance, and what your heart really wants. Watching The Sweetest Thing .

"Somewhere I read of the freedom of assembly. Somewhere I read of the freedom of speech. Somewhere I read of the freedom of press. Somewhere I read that the greatness of America is the right to protest for right." - I've been to the Mountaintop , The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. "With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day." - I have a dream , The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. EMBRACE FREEDOM . It is your right.  Fight for it. Dream about it. Live it. Don't let it be taken away.  Listening to Dream by Priscilla Ahn .

Exception: Cheesecake perfection. Why do we think we know what we are talking about? How could we possibly know when there are so many exceptions? When what is right for me isn't right for you, and what is right for you isn't right for me? Embracing my own ignorance, my own faults, my own imperfections should make me more forgiving, relinquishing judgment for love and doubt for belief. So why doesn't it? Why does knowing I'm not perfect make me think you should be? EMBRACE IMPERFECTION . Mine and yours. Listening to The Only Exception by Paramore .

Lately it seems like every time I have a real conversation--you know the kind where you both pay attention and actually care about what the other person is saying--someone ends up in tears. It happened twice yesterday. You might think this would deter me from having real conversations, but in fact the opposite is true. I've never been one to cry easily in front of others, so I know that real tears stemming from real conversations means something. In today's world of communication, our exchanges are limited to 140 characters and "like" buttons. Last month I had a 30-minute text message conversation entirely in emoticons. While this is "acceptable," I think it also serves to deepen our longing to connect, to be in relationship, to feel understood. I feel affirmed when a dozen people like my status update, even more so when they "share" it. But nothing compares to sitting in the same room crying over episodes of Parenthood while drinking long...

Isn't it interesting that you can overlook a word your entire life, but when you consciously choose it--when it chooses you--it suddenly manifests everywhere you turn. I've been intermittently reading a 13-day devotional study by Mary DeMuth, author of Everything . Two weeks after starting I'm on Day Four. Yes, I suck at dailies. Day Four is titled: "Embrace the Beauty of Community." Embrace . If community were my word, I would tell you about the books my friend Margaret Feinberg recommends on this subject, which she just happened to tweet about on Monday. But my word isn't community. It's embrace. And so I read Day Four through this lens, stumbling on a particular query that Mary ended with: Who has been the most positive influence in your life?  Who has helped you grow? "Embrace community" would be a logical focus for today, but surely by now you know that's not how this works. Mary's query challenged me to ask who I...

Delia's. Southpark Mall, 2013. EMBRACE DIVERSITY . It's stupid not to. Watching Anchorman .

I went to the Southpark Mall in Strongsville, Ohio, last weekend. It felt new and unfamiliar. The nearest mall to my Alma Mater... surely I had been here before? Grand Canyon. Summer, 2000. It wasn't until I'd nearly completed my tour of the two-story, multi-corridor maze that I remembered:  Christina and I outfitted ourselves for one of the most amazing summers of my life inside these walls. The men at Eastern Mountain Sports (EMS) spent hours, days, weeks with us, gearing us up for the three months we would spend hiking the Grand Canyon.  Beth and I got holiday jobs here our senior year, selling games and calendars to overcome our boredom with text books and speeches and cafeteria food. Grand Canyon. Spring Break, 2002. It was here that I met one of the  great loves  of my life. How is it that something that held so many memories could change so much that it was now beyond my recognition?  And yet I'm thrilled at where life has taken u...

Driving on 71 North. January, 2013. Yesterday I drove to Berea where I spent four years as an undergrad. I didn't even notice the rain, the traffic. Only the good vibes coming out of my radio, the way the road felt like home beneath my tires, the comfort in my spirit at being on the road and going to a place familiar. I took this photo somewhere between Columbus and Cleveland because I was happy. I liked my bracelet and my outfit and being on my own. My destination was Kamm 215 where I once went to a sorority meeting.  I may have had a poetry class here too. Neither with the likes of Dr. Param Srikantia. Once I'd gotten over his foul mouth and unapologetic style he asked if we'd ever driven somewhere and, upon arriving, not known how we got there. That, perhaps, in "knowing the road like the back of your hand" you lost awareness and let that little creature on your lap take over while you went somewhere else. It was obvious I was in the right place. And ...

Sunset. Ohio, 2013. I suck at closure. Maybe this year will be different. Maybe this year I will  EMBRACE ENDINGS . Reading The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot.

Sometimes you need to make your own rain. Wyoming, 2001. When I moved to California the sun came out every day for two straight months. Does it ever rain? I asked. My body needed the weather's permission to retreat, to draw into myself, and remember that I am my own source of strength. I longed for the rivers to flood with rainwater, for the thirst of Chilnualna Falls to be satiated, for an excuse to stay in my mountain home all day with a box of James, Wharton, and Cather novels and a kettle at a perpetual boil on the gas stove. While my countenance is brighter with the sun, it is so very important to EMBRACE RAIN . Singing Bring on the Rain by Jo Dee Messina & Tim McGraw .

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven... A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing..."  Ecclesiastes 3:1,5 On those days that I am called to refrain from embracing, I will  EMBRACE LONELINESS . Listening to Turn! Turn! Turn! by The Byrds .

Sometimes sleep is overrated. And sometimes it is exactly what you need. EMBRACE REST .

We stayed up all night, listening to singer/songwriters on his cell phone. " Love is like falling, and falling is like this... " If there is one thing that comes close to the feeling of falling in love, it is to: EMBRACE MUSIC . I remember letting the music take me at The Pines, dancing in my vans with a wall of mirrors and a bass player's tongue in my ear. At Shoreline to James Taylor and The Other Ones with mushrooms and stranger best friends, tins of joints taped to their balls and babies making bongs. At a hotel, a piano player serenading a Make-a-Wish dreamer, in a hot tub when I was twelve. In Iowa in the bathroom with my cousin who is embarrassed by home videos of operatic arias I wish I had the boldness--not the voice, it was never about the voice--to sing. Marriages that never worked because the songs were all wrong. Bedroom turntables, living room records, guys in ponytails and their brothers. Years of foreplay come to a climax after one night of  Neil Youn...

I shrink into the corner. Feeling encroached upon. Wondering if it is my own fault. Remember when I used to hide behind you in airports and restaurants, sleeping in my car so I could feel that all the doors were locked? EMBRACE BOUNDARIES . Boundaries move me from brokenness to safety. Boundaries say no one has more right to my body, spirit, mind, heart, and soul than me. Boundaries say I am a child of God, worth protecting and holding dear. Boundaries protect me from you, and me from me.

Sometimes words aren't necessary. Sometimes they aren't enough. EMBRACE OTHERS .  Literally.  A hug can say, "I want to know you, to understand you. I am connected to you, willing to hold you and be held by you."  Isn't that what we all want--to be understood, to connect, to relate? Listening to Furr by Blitzen Trapper .

Since getting a post-holiday cold and cough my energy has been off, which has been disruptive to my job. So today I invited my aunt into my head space. She is a massage therapist who specializes in  CranioSacral Therapy . There was a time when I would have dismissed "alternative medicine", my aunt's gentle touch, color therapy, reflexology, yoga, and even intuition. But my God is a big God and who am I to limit the Divine? EMBRACE WHOLENESS  was my challenge for the day. To believe that God created all things must also be to believe that God is in all things, and can speak through anyone and anything, by any means. It is no coincidence that I bought a new sticker yesterday for my notebook, declaring "Everything is Connected." Indeed!

"Every one of us is trying to be extraordinary, which implicitly means you have already decided you aren't." - Dr. Param Srikantia I was drawn to this statement when I saw it on Facebook yesterday and copied it down on my yellow legal pad. Initially the draw was the word "extraordinary," a word I've always felt a pull towards. The second half of the statement gave me pause...a seed planted but not yet tended in my mind.  Then Kari (the sister-in-law who is to blame for this blog!) posts a picture to my Facebook page today:  I don't know her intentions behind this post, other than the fact that we have vowed to encourage one another on our word journeys this year. What I do know is that in my spirit I immediately felt the words: EMBRACE YOURSELF .  There is a time for soul searching, exploring, experimenting, but there is also a time to accept who you are. And so I ask: Am I searching to avoid accepting? Seeking a self rather than embracing my s...

I searched for the word "embrace" on my Bible app. Jacob and Esau embraced after they had fought over their father's blessing and Jacob had been gone many years. The father embraced the prodigal son who returned with his tail between his legs after squandering his inheritance. Likewise my family has embraced my return in the last few months to the family farm. After years of holding them at arms length, I'm met with the challenge of  EMBRACING HOME ...the house in which I'm living, my family, the church I was raised in, Ohio, and the restlessness that seems to be my natural state. Embracing home is definitely NOT going to be easy! Listening to  Homeward Bound by Simon & Garfunkel .

This year I will not feel guilty about being blessed. Instead, I will ask God to show me how to use my blessings to be a blessing to others. I will EMBRACE ABUNDANCE ! Watching Reality Bites .

The clock struck midnight. The ball dropped. Dick Clark was not around to sing "Auld Lang Syne". My sister-in-law invited me to claim a word a day for the next year...a challenge, a promise, a hope, a failure, a dream, a remembrance, an accounting of a life. Always the over achiever, by 9 a.m. I had a word-- the word--not just for the day but for the entire year: EMBRACE .