The Problem With Sharing

I’ve noticed that more often than not, when we tell kids to “share” we don’t actually mean it.

Randy and I have very different communication styles. I am literal; he is general. Por ejemplo (for example), if someone asks “Is that what you mean?” I will answer “si” or “no.” Randy will answer “mas o menos” (more or less). This is too vague for me. I want to mean what I say and say what I mean.

The literal definition of sharing is to “give a portion of something to someone else,” or to “enjoy together.”

But when we tell our kids to share, isn’t it true that we are more likely to praise them if they give away their toy and go off to play with something else? Isn’t it true that we are more likely to praise them if they give away a bigger portion of the snack they have and settle for the lesser portion?

Yet it would still be sharing if they gave away a lesser portion. It would still be sharing if they asked for 5 minutes alone with their toy first before giving the other kid a 5-minute turn. It would still be sharing if they asked for a second piece of candy so they could give it away.

Maybe kids would be more likely to share if we reinforced the true meaning of sharing, rather than calling it sharing when it is really sacrificing.  

This is my struggle with being a volunteer missionary.

Randy and I were called to San Felipe to share our gifts, to share our talents, to share our lives, to share our help. Yet instead we’ve given up everything we were so intentional last year about creating – time to hike and take care of our physical bodies, time to read and take care of our minds, time to participate in church activities and take care of our spirits, time to date each other and take care of our marriage, time to serve and give back to others. There was a healthy balance there, a true sharing. Yet volunteering is not celebrated as sharing. Instead, “volunteer missionary” has become synonymous with “martyr.”

God put share (“compartir”) on my heart this year; yet any time I’m asked how that is going I answer with a groan, a grumble, an “I hate it” and “I’m terrible at it.”

But I don’t think I’m actually terrible at sharing. I don’t think I actually hate sharing. What I don’t like is being called to share, but expected to sacrifice.

While there will be times in life when we are called to sacrifice – our free time, our stuff, our spending, our security, our comfort zones, our sleep, our lives – I don’t think it is healthy to live that way all the time.

Sharing is healthy. Sharing allows you to not only take care of others, but to also take care of yourself, your relationships, your home, your soul and heart and body and mind. So that you don't burn out.

I know there is a reason God put “compartir” on my heart this year, while I am here in this environment where it feels almost impossible to achieve. 

Because impossible is God's specialty.