Discerning God's Will to Serve

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” –John 14:18

My husband Randy first mentioned moving to Mexico to volunteer full-time at a children’s home a little over two years ago. I had long since wanted to volunteer at an orphanage, but the idea of actually doing so seemed impractical, even for someone who loves doing the impractical as much as me. And because we weren’t in a position to make such a move, I didn’t devote much thought to it at the time.

But early in 2016 we suddenly came into a position where we could make such a move. And now the question changed from “could we”, to “would we”?

During a conversation with Eden Grace, Global Ministries director at Friends United Meeting, she stressed the importance of a “site visit” for individuals considering serving in the field – actually traveling to and seeing the place where you would be serving before making any commitments. While the children’s home in Mexico is not an FUM project, I valued Eden’s wisdom and experience. And a site visit felt important to me too.

So in February of this year Randy and I made our first visit to San Felipe, Mexico. We spent every morning and every evening walking the beach, talking and praying and listening to see if this was where God was calling us. In between those walks we spent our time at the children’s home, playing with and cooking for the 30 children that call this place home. We learned many of their stories, and discovered that, while some were eligible for adoption, others were there on a temporary basis, just until their home lives improved. We talked with the “mamas” who care for the children and the directors who clearly felt God’s call to plant this ministry. After a mere three days our hearts felt torn to have to leave them all behind while we returned to the States.

There was no doubt that we felt a connection with the people and the place. There was no doubt that our God-given gifts and talents could be put to use. But did that mean this was God’s will?

Randy was ready to pack up our house and move the moment our plane touched down in Sacramento. But I was more cautious. If we didn’t want to leave the children after being there only three days, how would we ever leave if we actually lived there? Were we considering a life-time commitment? Or simply inviting the inevitable heartbreak when one day we would return to the U.S.? There are tons of orphanages… how did we know this was the right one for us? And what about our families here? Were we shirking our commitment to them by leaving the country? A million questions and scenarios plagued my thoughts. Not to mention the fact that we hadn’t even talked to the directors of the children’s home about our desire to come alongside them. Did they even want us there?

When I shared my concerns with Randy, he reminded me of all the “signs” that were pointing us to this children’s home in particular. SQuire Rushnell calls them “God Winks.” Margaret Feinberg calls them “Sacred Echoes.” Whatever you call them, there was no doubt that something or Someone was orchestrating a series of signposts in our lives all pointing us in the same direction.

I decided to do an experiment: to intentionally look for these “winks”. Suddenly we began meeting people who had second homes in San Felipe and volunteered to help in any way they could. I ended up in the “wrong” Bible study at church which just happened to be studying a book by a woman who recently adopted a child from an orphanage. And, while perusing the website of the children’s home we were considering, I discovered that they don’t like the term “orphanage”. Instead they prefer the term “albergue”, which means “to take in”, and is what they call the hostels in Spain where Randy and I first met and where we stayed most nights while walking the Camino de Santiago.

As I began to notice the echoes it was overwhelming. And I knew I had a choice. I could let fear win and call them “coincidences”, or I could trust that the God I knew was speaking to me, inviting me to live my faith in new and unexpected ways.  

*This blog first appeared as a guest post in Friends United Meeting's "Daily Journal" as "God Winks."