OUR ADOPTION STORY

Randy and I have entered the Home Study phase of the adoption! The first step in the Home Study process is a study of our hearts. We were asked to write a personal statement about our motivation for adoption. This was a powerful exercise, challenging us to look deep into our hearts and our histories, to uncover a story that God has been weaving all along. This is our story.

OUR ADOPTION STORY

My (Katie) mother was a kindergarten teacher for 25 years. During that time she often shared her concern for the children that she taught, and how her heart made her want to bring many of them home to experience the love and care that every child deserved. This planted a seed in my heart at an early age for the many children in the world whose biological parents can’t take care of them.

When I became an adult myself, a few months shy of graduating from college (March 2002), I became pregnant. I always assumed I would have children of my own, and was thrilled at the prospect of becoming a mom. I was engaged to my child’s father, so even though it may not have been the “proper” order of things, I knew that this child would be loved and cared for. But my joy was short lived. I miscarried a few weeks later. My heart was broken and I couldn’t imagine putting it through that pain again. My engagement ended, and it wasn’t until several years later that my former fiancé and I were able to talk about what we had gone through. It was very healing to share our grief and the steps we had both taken to move forward. For me, those steps involved growing closer to God and trusting that He cares for me even when life doesn’t make sense. At one point I spoke with a minister’s wife who told me that she had miscarried three children and that one day she would get to hold them in heaven. The thought of my child being in heaven was transformative. It made me feel like the pregnancy wasn’t meaningless. God had still chosen me to give a home to a child, even if that home was a mere few weeks in the womb. When I knew that I was ready to start thinking again about having kids, my faith had grown much stronger and I knew that I wanted to wait for God to bring the right man into my life to have children with.

I (Randy) had two biological children with my first wife. When their mother and I divorced I made sure they always knew they were my first priority. Having kids was a blessing and a responsibility that I took seriously.

Eventually I met a woman who wanted to have children but was unable to. I helped her pursue the (local) adoption of two children, and when we got married I adopted them as my own. Years later, as it became apparent that we were going to divorce, I elected to have a vasectomy. I knew that I didn’t want to bring any more biological children into the world, and was focused on caring for the four children that God had already blessed me with.

In 2014, God arranged a Divine plan for the two of us (Randy and Katie) to meet. I (Katie) traveled from Ohio to Madrid, Spain, while I (Randy) traveled from California to Barcelona. Separately, having never met before, we both decided to walk across Spain along the ancient pilgrimage route, el Camino de Santiago. A few buses, trains, taxis, and hoppers later, we bumped into each other on a tiny street in St. Jean Pied de Port, France, on the first leg of our journey walking the Camino. We ended up walking alongside one another for 34 days and hundreds of miles across the incredible Spanish countryside. During that time we talked about our hopes and dreams for the future. Without truly understanding what I (Katie) was saying, I said that I wanted to volunteer at an orphanage. “Out of the heart, the mouth speaks.” Upon returning to the United States, I (Randy) mentioned to some friends this dream that Katie had, and these friends told me that it just so happened they were on the Board of Directors of an orphanage in San Felipe, Baja California, Mexico.

Long story short, the next year we were married in California and the year after that we moved to San Felipe. We did not move to San Felipe with the intention of adopting, but we were clear that God was sending us to San Felipe and to the Sonshine Hacienda children’s home. We lived in an apartment on site at the orphanage. We ate and played and prayed with the children every day. We worked alongside the staff and administrators. We never truly felt at home there, but we never doubted God’s calling.

After we had lived there for almost a year, a little boy named Jordan asked me (Katie) if “Papa Randy” and I would adopt him. You might think that this was something the kids said regularly, to anyone who might offer them a way out of the orphanage, but this was the first time I had heard any of the children say any such thing to anyone. It came from his heart and I could see that it took courage for him to speak those words. I told him I would pray about it and that he should too. Jordan and his two younger brothers had always held a special place in our hearts. From the first days that we were there we gravitated toward one another. It felt like we believed in them when no one else did. And we were always the ones called on for the “regular” sorts of duties that parents do—removing splinters, kissing scraped knees, practicing vocabulary, doling out vitamins (and sneaking extra treats!), giving sideways looks during church to keep them quiet. In the six months that followed, my (Randy) mom died and my (Katie) grandma died, both living in the United States, far away from us. We felt like God was drawing us home to the United States, and wondered if we had fulfilled His purpose for us in Mexico.

On our last day at Sonshine Hacienda, our three boys sobbed as we said our goodbyes. They wanted to come with us and we wanted that too. It was then that we began to talk seriously about pursuing international adoption. We didn’t want to just adopt, however. We felt like God had sent us to San Felipe for these three boys in particular—Jordan Michel, Jesus Alberto, and Brayan Alexis.

My (Randy) kids are all grown and starting families of their own, but they are thrilled that we want to open our home to Jordan, Jesus, and Brayan. Two of our grandchildren visited us while we were living in Mexico and we were able to all go out to dinner as a family with the boys. It felt completely natural to have them all together. Because my kids were raised to know that family is family, regardless of whether they were my adopted kids or my bio kids, they are glad to open their arms to three more brothers.

I (Katie) have a wonderful relationship with Randy’s children, built on mutual respect and admiration. It feels funny to call them my “step-children” because they aren’t children at all, but successful adults who have taken the lessons their parents have taught them and are creating lives of their own. They are kind, loving, beautiful, compassionate people who will fiercely defend family to anyone who questions their definition of it. I am blessed to be in their lives. They are living, breathing proof that Randy will be a great father to Jordan, Jesus, and Brayan.

My (Katie) parents and brothers and sisters-in-love and nieces and nephew are excited for me to be a mom. The boys are similar in ages to our nieces and nephew who live nearby, and they are excited to get to know the boys. Our church family and friends are very supportive and are already planning a “baby shower” for us once we know when the boys will be coming home.

If I (Randy) had not had a vasectomy, we likely would have tried to have biological children and may never have considered adoption. But God has been with us every step of this journey so we trust that the elective surgery was part of His plan, too, in order to reveal the children that He had planned for our family all along. For me (Katie), our history of miscarriages proves just how special Jordan, Jesus, and Brayan are, because God chose to give these boys life—life that He wants to fill with love and joy and security and happiness and purpose. What an honor to be chosen to be their parents.     

Thank you for reading our story! Gracias a todos! We are still a long way from our fundraising goal. If you wish to be part of our story by donating to our goal of bringing these boys home, you can do so here: https://www.gofundme.com/manage/tu-puedes-adoptarme. Please share our story with your friends, and anyone you know who is considering adoption! We'd love to be on your prayer lists throughout this process. God-willing this time next year we'll be planning our first enlarged-family Christmas!!