First Day of Kindergarten

"Mama, no quiero ir. No quiero ir, mama. Mama, no!" 

(Mama, I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go, Mama. Mama, no!)

Luis looked up at me with his big, brown eyes, pleading to stay home from kindergarten.

After several failed attempts, I finally scooped him up and said, "Yo puedo ir con usted." 

(I’ll go with you.)

He sat calmly on my lap for the entire drive, six other kindergarteners in the back. But as soon as we pulled up to the school he cried again, "Mama, no quiero ir!"

"Voy a regresar en dos horas," I said to Luis. And to the others, "Quien quiere ayudar Luis?"

(I’ll be back for you in two hours... Who wants to help Luis?)

All six kids surrounded Luis, taking his hands. He continued to cry as he walked to class, looking back at me over his shoulder, mouthing "Mama, no! No quiero ir!"

My mama’s heart went out to him, though I knew he had nothing to be afraid of, and I knew he would come home happy. (And he did!)

Just like a child’s first week of kindergarten, we inevitably deal with tears the first week a kid comes to live with us at the orphanage. Cries for "mama" and "home" are part of the routine. Even if they were taken from these people and these places because of abuse, the children still long to be with the familiar, and have a hard time believing that anywhere else could be safer or better than where they were before.

How many times have I done the same in my Christian walk? How many times do I want to remain where I’m comfortable, struggling to trust that the new and different places that God is calling me to are better for me than where I am now? How many times have I dug in my heels and cried, "No quiero ir! I don’t want to go!"

What if, instead, I started to picture myself in Luis’s new shiny black shoes, standing outside the gate for my first day of kindergarten, with God beside me saying, “I’ll go with you” and “I’ll be here waiting for you” and “Here is a friend to walk alongside you” and “Don’t forget your lunch.”