Love Them While You Can
When the lady from DIF (child protective services) showed up, I greeted her warmly.
"You are bringing us more children," I said, because that is what I'd been told to expect that Friday afternoon.
"No," she said. "I came to take your children."
Wait... what???
She showed me her paperwork with the names of 4 of our children. They had only been with us for 4 months, but already they were an integral part of our family.
I went upstairs to the office to tell our administrator, but when I walked into the room I couldn't speak. The tears started to flow. I kept trying for words that wouldn't come.
"What's wrong, Mama Katie?" she prodded.
"The lady wants to take our children away," I finally managed.
By the time we got downstairs, the staff were already gathering backpacks to fill with clothes and shoes to send home with the children, who were going to live with their grandmother.
I had met the grandmother several times. She was very nice and obviously loved her grandchildren. But could she protect them from the abuse that brought them to live with us in the first place?
And just like that, our 10, 7, 3, and 2 year-old were gone.
A few days later, on Tuesday, we received another call. A mother would be by in a few minutes to pick up her 14-year-old daughter. The situation that led this teen to come to us had been remedied quickly, in less than 3 months, and she too was returning home.
Our administrator watched me closely to see how I would handle this news. I took it much better. Recognizing now that our job isn't to be a permanent home for all of these children. At times we are simply a safe haven while abusive boyfriends get kicked out, or addicted parents go through rehab, or a family member steps up to take care of their nieces, nephews, grandchildren.
It's hard to see the children go, yet that is the goal, isn't it? Parents prepare their children to leave the nest. Foster parents prepare their children for a forever home. And here, Sonshine mamas and papas prepare our children for whatever unique situation comes next for them, whether that is adoption or giving their parents a second chance to provide them with a better life.
The best we can do is love them and care for them, teach them and encourage them, for whatever time they are ours.
"You are bringing us more children," I said, because that is what I'd been told to expect that Friday afternoon.
"No," she said. "I came to take your children."
Wait... what???
She showed me her paperwork with the names of 4 of our children. They had only been with us for 4 months, but already they were an integral part of our family.
I went upstairs to the office to tell our administrator, but when I walked into the room I couldn't speak. The tears started to flow. I kept trying for words that wouldn't come.
"What's wrong, Mama Katie?" she prodded.
"The lady wants to take our children away," I finally managed.
By the time we got downstairs, the staff were already gathering backpacks to fill with clothes and shoes to send home with the children, who were going to live with their grandmother.
I had met the grandmother several times. She was very nice and obviously loved her grandchildren. But could she protect them from the abuse that brought them to live with us in the first place?
And just like that, our 10, 7, 3, and 2 year-old were gone.
A few days later, on Tuesday, we received another call. A mother would be by in a few minutes to pick up her 14-year-old daughter. The situation that led this teen to come to us had been remedied quickly, in less than 3 months, and she too was returning home.
Our administrator watched me closely to see how I would handle this news. I took it much better. Recognizing now that our job isn't to be a permanent home for all of these children. At times we are simply a safe haven while abusive boyfriends get kicked out, or addicted parents go through rehab, or a family member steps up to take care of their nieces, nephews, grandchildren.
It's hard to see the children go, yet that is the goal, isn't it? Parents prepare their children to leave the nest. Foster parents prepare their children for a forever home. And here, Sonshine mamas and papas prepare our children for whatever unique situation comes next for them, whether that is adoption or giving their parents a second chance to provide them with a better life.
The best we can do is love them and care for them, teach them and encourage them, for whatever time they are ours.
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