Being Intentional in the Midst of our Busy
I can't believe how quickly July has flown by!
Rand and I knew that we were going to have a busy month, so we decided at the end of June that we were going to be intentional about showing love for one another in the midst of our busy. To help us be intentional we chose Alyssa and Jefferson Bethke's new books: "31 Creative Ways to Love and Encourage Him" and "31 Creative Ways to Love and Encourage Her".
(You should follow them on Instagram because not only do they write amazing books -- Jesus > Religion is an all time fav -- but they seriously have the cutest daughter in the entire world. Every time she pops up in my feed I am happy!)
The subtitle of the "31 Creative Ways" books is: "One Month to a More Life Giving Relationship." But right away Rand and I knew that there would be days in July that we would barely even see each other, so we didn't want the pressure of feeling like we "had to" be creative in our love. We wanted this challenge to be fun, so we took the authors advice and created a timeline that worked for us, which has ended up being 3 times a week.
I have to tell you I am so glad we decided to go through these books this month. I need lots of quality time with Rand and intentionally pouring ourselves into our relationship 3 days a week has made the long weekends when we are apart for 18 hour stretches at a time so much easier!
I'm not going to give all the Bethke's creative ideas away, but I will tell you that one of my favorites was when I came home from walking the dog one night and Rand had the music channel on the TV and asked me to dance. "We should do this every night!" I said, because it was such a fun way to connect, both physically and emotionally.
And of course we both love the ones that involve food. He was supposed to surprise me with a sweet treat one day, so he snuck some chocolate truffles into our CamelBak and we ate them (along with an orange and lots of water!) while out for a day hike. I got to surprise him with a snack one day, too, so I had strawberry shortcake waiting for him after work.
Now of course you could go on Pinterest and find all sorts of creative ideas for free, but what I really love about these books is that they include journal pages. Each day after we complete our "challenge" for the day, we journal about our experience. And a couple of months from now when we've gone through all 31 days, we'll be able to look back at our journals and how we showed love that day, what we learned, and see how the other felt about it too. Plus, I don't know about you, but I'm way more intentional about something that is sitting on my kitchen table than I am about following through with an idea on Pinterest!
AND, Jefferson and Alyssa are a Christian couple, so a few of the ideas challenge you to go deeper in your faith together. One of the most powerful experiences Rand and I have had is sharing our prayers with one another. It's where we really get to see one another's hearts, where we are struggling to have faith in God's plan and where we are most experiencing His faithfulness.
When I first bought these books for us Rand said, "Do you think we're not good at loving each other?" Of course not! But that doesn't mean we shouldn't work at always keeping the love going. I don't want to wait until we're not showing love daily to put in the effort. I want to put in the effort so that we never get there! (Or so that if we ever do get there we'll have the tools to quickly turn things around!)
There have been several challenges where we've said, "We do this already!" Like having breakfast together... this is something we do at least 5 days a week! Which is affirmation that we are doing this whole love and marriage thing well.
Whether you are doing love well or have found yourself in a rut or are way past the rut stage, I encourage you to intentionally make your relationship and your partner a priority!
Rand and I knew that we were going to have a busy month, so we decided at the end of June that we were going to be intentional about showing love for one another in the midst of our busy. To help us be intentional we chose Alyssa and Jefferson Bethke's new books: "31 Creative Ways to Love and Encourage Him" and "31 Creative Ways to Love and Encourage Her".
(You should follow them on Instagram because not only do they write amazing books -- Jesus > Religion is an all time fav -- but they seriously have the cutest daughter in the entire world. Every time she pops up in my feed I am happy!)
The subtitle of the "31 Creative Ways" books is: "One Month to a More Life Giving Relationship." But right away Rand and I knew that there would be days in July that we would barely even see each other, so we didn't want the pressure of feeling like we "had to" be creative in our love. We wanted this challenge to be fun, so we took the authors advice and created a timeline that worked for us, which has ended up being 3 times a week.
I have to tell you I am so glad we decided to go through these books this month. I need lots of quality time with Rand and intentionally pouring ourselves into our relationship 3 days a week has made the long weekends when we are apart for 18 hour stretches at a time so much easier!
I'm not going to give all the Bethke's creative ideas away, but I will tell you that one of my favorites was when I came home from walking the dog one night and Rand had the music channel on the TV and asked me to dance. "We should do this every night!" I said, because it was such a fun way to connect, both physically and emotionally.
And of course we both love the ones that involve food. He was supposed to surprise me with a sweet treat one day, so he snuck some chocolate truffles into our CamelBak and we ate them (along with an orange and lots of water!) while out for a day hike. I got to surprise him with a snack one day, too, so I had strawberry shortcake waiting for him after work.
Now of course you could go on Pinterest and find all sorts of creative ideas for free, but what I really love about these books is that they include journal pages. Each day after we complete our "challenge" for the day, we journal about our experience. And a couple of months from now when we've gone through all 31 days, we'll be able to look back at our journals and how we showed love that day, what we learned, and see how the other felt about it too. Plus, I don't know about you, but I'm way more intentional about something that is sitting on my kitchen table than I am about following through with an idea on Pinterest!
AND, Jefferson and Alyssa are a Christian couple, so a few of the ideas challenge you to go deeper in your faith together. One of the most powerful experiences Rand and I have had is sharing our prayers with one another. It's where we really get to see one another's hearts, where we are struggling to have faith in God's plan and where we are most experiencing His faithfulness.
When I first bought these books for us Rand said, "Do you think we're not good at loving each other?" Of course not! But that doesn't mean we shouldn't work at always keeping the love going. I don't want to wait until we're not showing love daily to put in the effort. I want to put in the effort so that we never get there! (Or so that if we ever do get there we'll have the tools to quickly turn things around!)
There have been several challenges where we've said, "We do this already!" Like having breakfast together... this is something we do at least 5 days a week! Which is affirmation that we are doing this whole love and marriage thing well.
Whether you are doing love well or have found yourself in a rut or are way past the rut stage, I encourage you to intentionally make your relationship and your partner a priority!
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