2020

During the prayer circle that kicked off yesterday's triathlon, Psalm 18:37 was quoted: "I pursued my enemies and overtook them; I did not turn back till they were destroyed." In the days prior I had committed to memory Ephesians 6 , which reminds us that our enemies are not flesh and blood. (It wasn't the other athletes that we were here to destroy!) Another athlete admitted that his biggest enemy was his own mind, which is full of fear and doubt, not only while he is training, but even as he runs into the water and takes those first strokes of the race.  I love that we began the race with this challenge to pursue and overtake whatever it is that stands between us and the finish line. Because as I watched athlete after athlete finish, I could see that the victory was not just in finishing. Not just in getting first in their age division. Or achieving a personal best.  These athletes were overcoming far more than the finish line. They were over...

Lately I've been feeling especially grateful for the forethought of my father, grandfather, great-grandfather, and great-great-grandfather. I live on the family farm where they all lived before me. And they've left me the most beautiful and delicious legacy. Apple, peach , and pear trees. Blackberry bushes. Maple, oak, walnut, and buckeye trees. And a grapevine. I simply walk by the grapevine and feel loved as I am embraced by the sweet aroma of grapes warmed by the sun. And then I pop one in my mouth and it's like discovering grapes for the first time because they are so much sweeter than anything you get in the store. There is nothing I did to deserve these riches. There is nothing I have done to create them or make them return and grow year after year. (They are a bit like God's grace you could say, which we don't earn or deserve or have any part in creating.) But I have them and they are mine because 30, 50, and 100 years ago someone had the forethou...

I spend a lot of time listening. To music. To friends. And family. To my thoughts. And not enough time to God. And my gut instincts. This week I've mostly been listening to my body. Which is saying things like: "Ouch!" "I need a break." "Stop!" My struggle to listen to my body is that we're always taught to push harder. That it isn't our bodies standing in the way, but our minds. That slowing down or quitting or even just taking a break is equivalent to giving up. "You can do it!" "You're almost there!" "Don't stop now!" But words that are meant to encourage aren't necessarily words we should always listen to. The better we know ourselves, and the more often we practice listening, the better able we are to hear the "right" words, the ones we need to heed at any given time. Be they words from our friends or family, our own minds or guts. Listening helps us discern God's voice fr...

Thank you so much for embracing Tuesday's blog,  EMBRACE VALUE , in which I shared some of the ugly thoughts that sometimes occupy my head. It's scary to let others inside our heads. Especially when we are really honest about what is going on in there. Your comments, your love, your admissions of "me too", were so appreciated. The feedback that I received that touched me the most was this one: "Your authenticity is a tremendous gift." More than "you are beautiful". More than "you look hot in a bikini". More than "I wish I looked that good". Because the heart of that blog wasn't "I want to be pretty on the outside." The heart of it was "I don't feel pretty on the inside." Because when we don't feel pretty on the inside we try to compensate by making ourselves pretty on the outside, by having ideal bodies, being perfectionists, and looking like we have it all together. So to be told that my ...

I love this translation of Matthew 11:28-30 from The Message: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” I especially love that phrase "the unforced rhythms of grace." Rhythm, when we find it, is unforced. It's natural. It's easy. Yesterday I realized I'd finally found my rhythm again. Exercising in the morning, working 8 hours at my computer, cooking 3 meals, reading for enjoyment in the evening, and walking my dog every couple hours throughout the day. None of it was forced. It was an easy rhythm. Which felt soooo good after the craziness of August. Remember August? August was sports camps, two-a-days, practices, scrimmages, and games.  Aug...

When I see this photo a million thoughts go through my head. They sound something like this: "I hope everyone looks at the baby, the water, the sand, and not at me. I'm glad this was taken in the midst of triathlon training so I don't look 'as fat' as I would normally. I'm glad my sister-in-law wasn't standing close enough to get my stretch marks or my belly fat in this picture. Hopefully everyone will be distracted by the bikini and won't look at my face which isn't very pretty. I should have put some makeup on. And gel in my hair. Or at least worn a cute sun hat. No, I would have looked dumb in that too." You might be thinking that I must have the lowest self-esteem in the world. But this is how millions of people talk to themselves every day. Including me. And I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I don't ever want anyone to believe those things about themselves. I don't want my little niece in this picture to ever feel she isn...

Of those 17 addresses I've had in the past 15 years , this year has been the first time I've ever really lived alone. And not only lived alone, but enjoyed living alone. In the past, when I've had a place of my own, I've always been quick to fill it with guests. Neighbors, nearby friends, traveling guests, roommates, Bible study groups, clearness committees, dance parties, etc. Or else I've spent so little time at my own place, choosing instead to be out, or at friends homes, or working, that I could hardly call what I was doing "living alone". In other words, I would do anything to fill the lonely spaces. Plus it can be wonderful to be with others and share your space with someone else. I was so glad to have Kim as a roommate the year that the raccoons took to mating up against my bedroom window. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have her to wake up at 5 a.m. with a "You've got to see this!" I was even more ...